LOST SATELITTE SIGNAL. My GPS has been telling me this for two days. The sky is crystal clear, not a puffy white cloud in site and my GPS is LOST. Bad timing for it to be lost as I am on the road. No telling it that however. My GPS is obviously taking a break. It must be tired of figuring out how to send me to wherever it is I demand it to direct me to every day. It is tired of blazing new trails through the middle of the nowhere that can be the vastness of Texas. Or it is just too damn hot.
I haven’t lost my mind, surprisingly. I’ve calmly gone back to paying attention to my surroundings, taking my time, reading road signs, breathing deeply and chatting with God and anyone else who will take my roaming phone calls. I’ve referred back to my dearly departed friend, Mapquest, a couple of times and that has worked out just fine.
In the past I would have lost my mind. Wanted to be frustrated and to see how high I could get my blood pressure. Not anymore. In my past life, I remember chasing delivery trucks down the street while still in a hairnet and apron. I remember being angry at suppliers for events out of their control. I remember passionately yelling at an ex-husband. Or two.
Not anymore. I am no longer that person. When did the switch flip? For the life of me I can’t remember the last time I yelled and thought I was going to spontaneously combust. I like this new person and am glad the old one is long gone. I don’t intend on seeing her again.
Not raising our voices is a good thing. Being calm in the moment is a good thing. Wish I had been brave enough to tell this to the woman at the gas station pump next to me this morning as she was screeching at her three small children from the top of her lungs. She would have reached them on a much deeper level if she had talked to them calmly.
Stop the yelling. It won’t get you anywhere. Neither will my vacationing GPS.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Get the Guts Back!
I was living in a glorious ‘over the garage/pool house’ apartment in Belmont Shores, CA, the coast of Long Beach, with my fun friend Lori. Our home was amazing; full of light, life, great music and great times. Lots of laughter and as much dancing as we could fit in. Lipstick notes plastering the bathroom mirror demanding each other to take care of #1.
Then I vacationed in Tulsa and had a blast in a new place with new people exploring new places. A week after my vacation a man I met there called, “When are you moving to Tulsa?” My perky and energetic 20+ self responded, ‘When are you coming to get me?” This man wasn’t relationship material and I wasn’t interested in him. He was a friend of a fabulous friend.
“Next weekend.”
I had a garage sale. Told my Southern California friends and family I was moving, had a good bye party and left. Moved from the most amazing Southern California coast to God’s Green Country. Within 10 days. Without a second thought or a backward glance and with plenty of spunk. I loved our ‘over the garage/pool house apartment’ and wasn’t running away from anything. In hindsight, it just must have been time.
When do we lose the guts that I had when I dared to let a semi-stranger come to drive me cross country to a new home? When I sold everything until what was left fit in my little car. I couldn’t have been happier at the prospect of a new place, new friends, and new experiences. My energy and enthusiasm, unparalleled, I moved without a place to live, without a job and without any plan B or C. Never occurred to me at the time that I might have needed a backup plan. I don’t even remember if I had any money in the bank.
I just went. The result? Spectacular! Time of my life meeting friends I still have to this day. Not one regret.
Get the guts back. Do something daring with yourself, with your business. Hire someone. Fire someone. Tear down a wall. Open another location. Buy a new company car. Buy a new, huge, fabulous and fresh sign for the front door. Design yourself a new logo and give yourself a new look. Paint something wild.
Be daring. Be grand. Be full of chutzpah. Don’t think. Don’t over analyze. Just get out of your comfort zone. Pretend you are 20+ again and just DO!
Then I vacationed in Tulsa and had a blast in a new place with new people exploring new places. A week after my vacation a man I met there called, “When are you moving to Tulsa?” My perky and energetic 20+ self responded, ‘When are you coming to get me?” This man wasn’t relationship material and I wasn’t interested in him. He was a friend of a fabulous friend.
“Next weekend.”
I had a garage sale. Told my Southern California friends and family I was moving, had a good bye party and left. Moved from the most amazing Southern California coast to God’s Green Country. Within 10 days. Without a second thought or a backward glance and with plenty of spunk. I loved our ‘over the garage/pool house apartment’ and wasn’t running away from anything. In hindsight, it just must have been time.
When do we lose the guts that I had when I dared to let a semi-stranger come to drive me cross country to a new home? When I sold everything until what was left fit in my little car. I couldn’t have been happier at the prospect of a new place, new friends, and new experiences. My energy and enthusiasm, unparalleled, I moved without a place to live, without a job and without any plan B or C. Never occurred to me at the time that I might have needed a backup plan. I don’t even remember if I had any money in the bank.
I just went. The result? Spectacular! Time of my life meeting friends I still have to this day. Not one regret.
Get the guts back. Do something daring with yourself, with your business. Hire someone. Fire someone. Tear down a wall. Open another location. Buy a new company car. Buy a new, huge, fabulous and fresh sign for the front door. Design yourself a new logo and give yourself a new look. Paint something wild.
Be daring. Be grand. Be full of chutzpah. Don’t think. Don’t over analyze. Just get out of your comfort zone. Pretend you are 20+ again and just DO!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Success in the YES
You are challenged this week to walk through your business and look at from your customer’s perspective. How welcoming is your entrance area? How friendly are your employees? What do your floors and walls look like? How much dust is there on your point of sale? How much dust is on the person answering your phones? How fresh and clean is your restroom?
Look objectively and ask yourself if you would use your business.
My current strategy is firmly embedded in ‘no’. ‘No’ to one of my favorite hotels, finally, because I just can’t handle walking through the cloud of cigarette smoke that surrounds the front door. Who decided that was the perfect place to put their smoking area? A strong ‘no’ to the dry cleaner that to is always harried, sloppy and unorganized. No wonder they have repeatedly lost my clothes. Should have said ‘no’ to them a long time ago.
I am saying ‘no’ to what was one of my favorite restaurants. While their food is spectacular, they just can’t bring it to the table with any personality or sincerity. Why am I paying a premium price for food and no service? There are plenty of restaurants with amazing food that I am sure will appreciate my business and they probably have clean restrooms unlike my old favorite.
I am saying ‘yes’ to Nordstrom’s who rocks it with their customer service. I am saying ‘yes’ to the hair dresser who is always on time, offers wine and makes me not only look but feel fabulous; All in a clean, updated and friendly atmosphere. I am saying ‘yes’ to Sprouts because their store is neither a never ending uncomfortable maze nor is it a big, bright and loud box. I am saying ‘yes’ to their simplicity and freshness.
What do you need to do so your customers will continue to say ‘yes’ to you?
Look objectively and ask yourself if you would use your business.
My current strategy is firmly embedded in ‘no’. ‘No’ to one of my favorite hotels, finally, because I just can’t handle walking through the cloud of cigarette smoke that surrounds the front door. Who decided that was the perfect place to put their smoking area? A strong ‘no’ to the dry cleaner that to is always harried, sloppy and unorganized. No wonder they have repeatedly lost my clothes. Should have said ‘no’ to them a long time ago.
I am saying ‘no’ to what was one of my favorite restaurants. While their food is spectacular, they just can’t bring it to the table with any personality or sincerity. Why am I paying a premium price for food and no service? There are plenty of restaurants with amazing food that I am sure will appreciate my business and they probably have clean restrooms unlike my old favorite.
I am saying ‘yes’ to Nordstrom’s who rocks it with their customer service. I am saying ‘yes’ to the hair dresser who is always on time, offers wine and makes me not only look but feel fabulous; All in a clean, updated and friendly atmosphere. I am saying ‘yes’ to Sprouts because their store is neither a never ending uncomfortable maze nor is it a big, bright and loud box. I am saying ‘yes’ to their simplicity and freshness.
What do you need to do so your customers will continue to say ‘yes’ to you?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
A Powerful Sweaty Hug
I heard recently that Asians don’t shake hands because they believe it is giving away their power. They politely bow to each other in acknowledgement in deference to respect and admiration.
You’ve got to love the idea of keeping our power for ourselves.
A sweaty friend of mine recently told me of an encounter where he gave his power away. His sweat has never bothered me. He is clean. He doesn’t smell. Hugging him has never been a problem and seriously, we are in Texas, Mother Nature’s oven.
Recently, my friend, in greeting shook someone’s hand. That person, in a position superior to him, immediately wiped their hand on their pants. Oblivious or obvious, unacceptable. The man I know was giving a piece of himself to this other man in kindness, gratitude and acknowledgement. That piece will never come back to him.
My question is how much power do we give away without thinking? In our busy lives, our time and energy is wildly valuable. How many times have you blown off the salesperson the first time they popped in your door with a quick handshake? You could politely say, “I already have the service you offer. Thank you for coming in but you are not needed at this time. ”
Powerful! You CAN say all of that. Just think about how that salesperson isn’t going to be coming in your door once a week to interrupt you now. They aren’t going to have you on their prospect list and be telling their boss they are going to ‘close’ your account in ‘x’ period of time. They aren’t going to be calling you on the phone when you are already talking on one line and have another on hold. You aren’t going to be irritated by the sight of them.
They may ask your permission to come back and visit and in an effort to stay in control you still are required to be honest. Say, “no, please don’t, let me call you if needed” if you mean it or say, “yes, you may come back to visit but I am not going to give you any promises.” They are doing their job and you are running your business.
No one wants to go where they are not wanted. By telling that salesperson what your needs are, up front, like the respectful business owner you are, you are saving your power for your real needs and you are letting your potential vendor save their power for their other customers or for when you do need them.
My friend won’t be giving his power away any more to anyone that might brush him off. He is going to save his handshakes for his customers who adore him and for me who digs his sweaty hugs.
You’ve got to love the idea of keeping our power for ourselves.
A sweaty friend of mine recently told me of an encounter where he gave his power away. His sweat has never bothered me. He is clean. He doesn’t smell. Hugging him has never been a problem and seriously, we are in Texas, Mother Nature’s oven.
Recently, my friend, in greeting shook someone’s hand. That person, in a position superior to him, immediately wiped their hand on their pants. Oblivious or obvious, unacceptable. The man I know was giving a piece of himself to this other man in kindness, gratitude and acknowledgement. That piece will never come back to him.
My question is how much power do we give away without thinking? In our busy lives, our time and energy is wildly valuable. How many times have you blown off the salesperson the first time they popped in your door with a quick handshake? You could politely say, “I already have the service you offer. Thank you for coming in but you are not needed at this time. ”
Powerful! You CAN say all of that. Just think about how that salesperson isn’t going to be coming in your door once a week to interrupt you now. They aren’t going to have you on their prospect list and be telling their boss they are going to ‘close’ your account in ‘x’ period of time. They aren’t going to be calling you on the phone when you are already talking on one line and have another on hold. You aren’t going to be irritated by the sight of them.
They may ask your permission to come back and visit and in an effort to stay in control you still are required to be honest. Say, “no, please don’t, let me call you if needed” if you mean it or say, “yes, you may come back to visit but I am not going to give you any promises.” They are doing their job and you are running your business.
No one wants to go where they are not wanted. By telling that salesperson what your needs are, up front, like the respectful business owner you are, you are saving your power for your real needs and you are letting your potential vendor save their power for their other customers or for when you do need them.
My friend won’t be giving his power away any more to anyone that might brush him off. He is going to save his handshakes for his customers who adore him and for me who digs his sweaty hugs.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Are You the Body Left Behind? - Part 2
Kelly Wilson and I were going to be friends forever. She got me through my first divorce and I got her to the altar when she got married. I loved Kelly and she loved me. In our 20’s we connected like sisters. I loved her energy, her family, her dogs... You get the picture. Kelly and I drank great wine together, loved to cook and entertain together, hot air ballooned together and shared more than a few secrets, together. After visiting her in Tulsa one beautiful spring 20+ years ago, I even moved to that Green Country city, on the strength of our friendship. A move I have never regretted.
Newly settled into my new city, I was into my career and Kelly, a new wife, was into cocaine. Apparently, Kelly used me as an ‘out’ when she was out and I was in.
I am the body that Kelly left behind.
Are you the body left behind? Does it hurt? How many people do you think about in the middle of the night when the world is still and realize that they have left you behind. No explanation, just behind. Done. When the world is still do you realize that you are running your business at break neck speed and that maybe you aren’t the one leaving the bodies behind? It just might be you who is being left behind. You might be the one loosing. Do you owe some apologies? Need some explanations? Reconciliation an option?
I have heard the saying about how people come into our lives for a reason, a season etc. But really, no matter the season, how many people have come through your front or back door and not getting the time or attention deserved, left you (and your business?) behind? How many employees have left your company and their leaving didn’t get deserved attention? How many customers left without explanation?
During more than one hour of centering prayer meditation over my lengthy silent retreat, my mind wandered to the people who have left me behind. I am filled with tears and questions and a sense of urgency to reconnect, if possible, and ask for forgiveness if necessary. How sad that I only now realize that during so many hectic years in business, when I wasn’t connecting, that I was the body left behind.
Please don’t be the body left behind.
Newly settled into my new city, I was into my career and Kelly, a new wife, was into cocaine. Apparently, Kelly used me as an ‘out’ when she was out and I was in.
I am the body that Kelly left behind.
Are you the body left behind? Does it hurt? How many people do you think about in the middle of the night when the world is still and realize that they have left you behind. No explanation, just behind. Done. When the world is still do you realize that you are running your business at break neck speed and that maybe you aren’t the one leaving the bodies behind? It just might be you who is being left behind. You might be the one loosing. Do you owe some apologies? Need some explanations? Reconciliation an option?
I have heard the saying about how people come into our lives for a reason, a season etc. But really, no matter the season, how many people have come through your front or back door and not getting the time or attention deserved, left you (and your business?) behind? How many employees have left your company and their leaving didn’t get deserved attention? How many customers left without explanation?
During more than one hour of centering prayer meditation over my lengthy silent retreat, my mind wandered to the people who have left me behind. I am filled with tears and questions and a sense of urgency to reconnect, if possible, and ask for forgiveness if necessary. How sad that I only now realize that during so many hectic years in business, when I wasn’t connecting, that I was the body left behind.
Please don’t be the body left behind.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Win-Win, Winners all Around.
My new silent retreat attitude and I have been able to spend a few days, alone, in Chicago; specifically downtown Chicago a breath away from the Magnificent Michigan Mile. I’ve been very concerned about keeping my silent retreat oaths to myself since I left the powerful cocoon of my retreat experience.
I need not have worried. You can do Chicago, alone, and still keep quiet. You CAN do your life and stay focused on your goals and intentions, ONCE YOU HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT THEY ARE!
How often do you sidestep your own plans to do something for your business? How often do you work late instead of going home just to make an extra buck? For instance, do you feel you have to be the last one out at night? Can’t sleep unless you personally lock the door? What about that $15.00 an hour employee that you trust explicitly because they are your best friend’s kid and you’ve known them their whole life? Could they lock up for you and answer those few last phone calls and take those few last orders and messages? You go home, have dinner with your family, play with your kids, stay OFF the phone and computer and then go to bed with a satisfied smile and your satisfied spouse/partner.
That $15.00 an hour employee just made a few extra bucks and they go home with a satisfied smile because you just empowered them. Think about it. Win-win, winners all around.
One of your goals spending more time with your family? If I can stay in downtown Chicago and keep my pledges to myself, you can go home.
Have a clear picture? Commit to it. Do it.
I need not have worried. You can do Chicago, alone, and still keep quiet. You CAN do your life and stay focused on your goals and intentions, ONCE YOU HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT THEY ARE!
How often do you sidestep your own plans to do something for your business? How often do you work late instead of going home just to make an extra buck? For instance, do you feel you have to be the last one out at night? Can’t sleep unless you personally lock the door? What about that $15.00 an hour employee that you trust explicitly because they are your best friend’s kid and you’ve known them their whole life? Could they lock up for you and answer those few last phone calls and take those few last orders and messages? You go home, have dinner with your family, play with your kids, stay OFF the phone and computer and then go to bed with a satisfied smile and your satisfied spouse/partner.
That $15.00 an hour employee just made a few extra bucks and they go home with a satisfied smile because you just empowered them. Think about it. Win-win, winners all around.
One of your goals spending more time with your family? If I can stay in downtown Chicago and keep my pledges to myself, you can go home.
Have a clear picture? Commit to it. Do it.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Out of the Silence, a Love Letter
The plan was to spend a significant amount of time during my week long silent retreat writing lots of thought provoking blog posts with messages, per usual, about ways for you to propel yourself towards success. I planned to give plenty of ‘food for thought’ with words about what you need to be thinking about in order to achieve your dreams. In my time of quiet, I knew I would be able to focus on what needed to be said to help you grow your business and grow your sense of satisfaction within it.
Instead, with no phone, no computer, no talking and no one, Praise God, talking to me, I wrote longhand, a 200+ page love letter to My children, Lia and Casey.
I’ve been writing ad nausea about getting quiet and how within it you would be able to see what you needed to do for your business, yourself and your family. I’ve tried to convey that if you didn’t achieve peace, you would not achieve success on any level. My Skeeter used to say to me, “You can run your business, but your sure can’t run your personal life”. In hindsight, if I had spent some time in silence, I just might have figured out how to be successful both professionally and personally, at the same time. I wouldn’t have had the ups and downs I did along the way.
This quote make infinitely more sense to me now: “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. A wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid that mistake altogether.” I was the smart man and out of the silence of this week long retreat, I am going to do what I can to be wise. Please, I implore, learn from me.
The love letter to My children is beyond powerful. Stories from my youth, from my marriages, lessons I have learned, have not yet learned and lessons I am desperate for them to learn from me. In long hand, everything I wish for them now and on into their futures. How much I love them and why and all the blessings I want laid out for them. How they have blessed me in unbelievable ways and how I know their children will also shower with me blessings unimaginable. Writing this letter over these last six days has been one of the most dynamic things I have ever done and I am amazed beyond compare to have had the quiet time to do it. Writing it had as much to do with healing and empowering me as I hope it empowers and blesses My babies.
Stop. Now. Make concrete plans to get silent. Write a love letter. Then and only then, get back to work.
Instead, with no phone, no computer, no talking and no one, Praise God, talking to me, I wrote longhand, a 200+ page love letter to My children, Lia and Casey.
I’ve been writing ad nausea about getting quiet and how within it you would be able to see what you needed to do for your business, yourself and your family. I’ve tried to convey that if you didn’t achieve peace, you would not achieve success on any level. My Skeeter used to say to me, “You can run your business, but your sure can’t run your personal life”. In hindsight, if I had spent some time in silence, I just might have figured out how to be successful both professionally and personally, at the same time. I wouldn’t have had the ups and downs I did along the way.
This quote make infinitely more sense to me now: “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. A wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid that mistake altogether.” I was the smart man and out of the silence of this week long retreat, I am going to do what I can to be wise. Please, I implore, learn from me.
The love letter to My children is beyond powerful. Stories from my youth, from my marriages, lessons I have learned, have not yet learned and lessons I am desperate for them to learn from me. In long hand, everything I wish for them now and on into their futures. How much I love them and why and all the blessings I want laid out for them. How they have blessed me in unbelievable ways and how I know their children will also shower with me blessings unimaginable. Writing this letter over these last six days has been one of the most dynamic things I have ever done and I am amazed beyond compare to have had the quiet time to do it. Writing it had as much to do with healing and empowering me as I hope it empowers and blesses My babies.
Stop. Now. Make concrete plans to get silent. Write a love letter. Then and only then, get back to work.
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