The trash man took the chairs. Didn’t think he would, but he did. They were beautiful chairs, once. They went with the perfect round wood dining room table. They were high backed, cushioned all over and covered in a fabulous golden hued fabric. I remember when I first bought the perfect round wood dining room table with the six stunningly beautiful and super comfortable chairs.
The kids and I were in the green house. Our home. I was entertaining more than ever and the three of us were very happy. Our house was perfect. Every inch of it bore our signature and everything that had been redone from the mantel over the fireplace to the faux finishing on the stair banister was done with love and care. It was the small and manageable home with the perfect for entertaining square dining room that called out for the perfect round wood dining table. One of my favorite stores at the time was Storehouse and they had not only the perfect table but the ability to order the perfect chairs to go with it.
They took almost two months to arrive and it was well worth the wait. That perfect table and chair set was the foundation of our house. We entertained on it constantly. We had dinner party after dinner party after dinner party. We loved on our table and chairs and in return they brought us many unforgettable memories.
Then we went through the crash and had to move into an apartment that didn’t have enough room for the perfect wood dining table and perfectly cushioned set of golden fabric chairs. Regrettably, they had to live in the garage. We managed two amazing dinner parties. In the garage. With the China and the stemware. Just wasn’t the same though.
Then we moved into a house with a dining room. But things were never the same again. One of the chairs broke. It was sad. I was sad. Then another of the chairs broke. It was almost like they were saying something. Life was different. Life wasn’t okay. Then another chair broke. Three chairs just don’t make a dinner party.
Lia is off at college by now and Casey has one foot out the door. Entertaining in on hold. Life is on hold. Breathing is on hold. The perfect round wood table with the three lonely chairs is barely hanging on to its memories. I think we are barely holding on to our memories. Memories from the green house with the perfectly square dining room, six cushioned chairs and the canopy of trees.
We all move, yet again, and Lia doesn’t have a dining room table. She doesn’t need the three remaining chairs so we split up the set. The table looks perfect in her new home like it might have enough energy to generate some new memories. Casey doesn’t need a table or chairs in his new dining room; he has the ping pong table. What would a group of guys need a dining room table complete with memories for anyway? I moved into a house that already had a dining room table and a dining room that doesn’t fit round any way.
The three broken chairs stopped in the garage. They’ve been looked at and can’t be fixed. They are finished. Goodwill wouldn’t take them because they were broken. The Salvation Army wouldn’t take then either. The garbage man was my last hope to put them and my memories out of their misery. They left with him this morning.
I read an article a while back that has stayed with me. It was about a woman who was happiest when all her belongings fit in her car. She treasured the time when she had no ‘stuff’. Throughout this last move the story of this woman has energized me into getting rid of stuff. I don’t want any baggage. Material or emotional. No more stuff. While I have too much to fit in my little green car, I have a heck of a lot less than I did just a month ago. When the garbage man took the broken chairs, I felt huge relief that I had just disposed of some ‘stuff’. Material and emotional baggage drove off down the street.
Of course, everything I do these days has some correlation to publication of the book and some relation to owning a small business. (We are in the middle of conceptual editing right now!) How many small businesses are full of broken chairs? How many small businesses have too much stuff? How many spend too much time on making things pretty instead of taking care of the things that need to be taken care of or too much time spending money on the things that are just unnecessary window dressing? How many spend time decorating the waiting room instead of spending time and money on getting customers in the front door?
Was I the only one who heard a recent statistic regarding storage units and how they are our fastest growing industry? That there is one storage unit for every 10 households? What is the deal with the ‘stuff’? Doesn’t make us any richer. Doesn’t make us any happier. Probably won’t make your business any more successful. Having dinner parties on the old and scarred table with the six mismatched chairs I have now are going to make me as many unforgettable memories as my perfect round wood table with the beautiful cushioned chairs ever did.
Thank you, Mr. Trash Man. I may fit it all in my little car yet.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Riches-No Money Required
Don’t you love that intoxicating feeling when you slowly put something in your mouth that you know is going to amaze all of your senses and completely satisfy your hunger? You know as you are lifting the spoon or fork up to close your eyes and savor before you even taste. Then when you have whatever it is in your mouth, you move your jaw ever so slightly to make sure that the sensations reach every single one of your taste buds and you assure yourself that you can feel the flavor past your gut and down to your feet.
I just had this experience. This deeply satisfying and richly rewarding experience. With a group of very old and very treasured friends. I felt this experience on every physical and emotional level and absolutely down to my toes. It was, in a word, magnificent.
I owned my big company for 18 years. During that time, I wasn’t able to spend time with my friends or do any work cultivating relationships on a deep or truly connected level. My children were small and needed me, my company was small and needed me more. My life was needy. I allowed my needy life to get in the way of the life I needed. In the way of the relationships I needed.
I hadn’t seen my friend Carol in too many years. She lives in a city that I frequent on business now so we really have had no excuse for not spending delicious time over a beverage or two over the last year other than the neediness of both our patterns. Twenty plus years ago we lived in Tulsa together and shared the company of a third musketeer, Doug. While Carol and Doug have stayed close, Doug and I unfortunately have only connected over Christmas cards and letters.
Doug is going through a rough patch and decided he needed to spend some time with Carol and friends in Carol’s city. Carol and I connected and without hesitation, I made plans to be there and surprise him. What a magnificent surprise it was! What a stupendous day and evening we had. I chuckle now just thinking about the memories we shared from way back when and the new ones we made that day. We shared and made memories that no one and no experience can ever take away. We had a day that was lush and deep and everlasting, full of both laughter and soul searching conversation. You would have thought that the three of us hadn’t been parted for as long as we had. You would have thought that we had never let life get in the way of the connection that ran so deeply like a current between us.
This richness comes with deep regret. Regret for the time wasted minding the store of my business instead of cultivating my friendships. I can only imagine how many business owners out there are doing the same thing right now. Working late into exhaustion and neglecting the bounty of their friendships. Working unorganized and missing out of the wealth within their own families. All of my business owners will now be instructed to add a dose of richness to ‘their time’. Because I see now that without the richness, there are no riches. Without the richness, there will never be any deep satisfaction or true feeling of success.
How can we be truly satisfied if we don’t taste and savor the richness of our relationships down to our toes? How can we be truly successful if we don’t treasure this opulence?
I just had this experience. This deeply satisfying and richly rewarding experience. With a group of very old and very treasured friends. I felt this experience on every physical and emotional level and absolutely down to my toes. It was, in a word, magnificent.
I owned my big company for 18 years. During that time, I wasn’t able to spend time with my friends or do any work cultivating relationships on a deep or truly connected level. My children were small and needed me, my company was small and needed me more. My life was needy. I allowed my needy life to get in the way of the life I needed. In the way of the relationships I needed.
I hadn’t seen my friend Carol in too many years. She lives in a city that I frequent on business now so we really have had no excuse for not spending delicious time over a beverage or two over the last year other than the neediness of both our patterns. Twenty plus years ago we lived in Tulsa together and shared the company of a third musketeer, Doug. While Carol and Doug have stayed close, Doug and I unfortunately have only connected over Christmas cards and letters.
Doug is going through a rough patch and decided he needed to spend some time with Carol and friends in Carol’s city. Carol and I connected and without hesitation, I made plans to be there and surprise him. What a magnificent surprise it was! What a stupendous day and evening we had. I chuckle now just thinking about the memories we shared from way back when and the new ones we made that day. We shared and made memories that no one and no experience can ever take away. We had a day that was lush and deep and everlasting, full of both laughter and soul searching conversation. You would have thought that the three of us hadn’t been parted for as long as we had. You would have thought that we had never let life get in the way of the connection that ran so deeply like a current between us.
This richness comes with deep regret. Regret for the time wasted minding the store of my business instead of cultivating my friendships. I can only imagine how many business owners out there are doing the same thing right now. Working late into exhaustion and neglecting the bounty of their friendships. Working unorganized and missing out of the wealth within their own families. All of my business owners will now be instructed to add a dose of richness to ‘their time’. Because I see now that without the richness, there are no riches. Without the richness, there will never be any deep satisfaction or true feeling of success.
How can we be truly satisfied if we don’t taste and savor the richness of our relationships down to our toes? How can we be truly successful if we don’t treasure this opulence?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
Next phase, conceptual editing. Tate Publishing and my editor are going to want me to make decisions. They don’t know that I am not making decisions right now. Not making big decisions and not making little decisions. I think that I won’t be able to make any decisions until at least Halloween when I know the Texas temperatures have cooled and my children and I are all safely settled into our new homes. No decision making is going to be possible until the leaves are turning up north and the weather permits me to drive with the lid down on my car. No decisions will be made until cool and stiff breezes have cleared my head of the consequences of all the decisions I have had to make over the last 18 years. 18 years, exactly. I have decision making exhaustion.
As a small business owner and single Mom, decision making demands have been a constant and almost unbearable part of my world. In order to survive, I had to make large and small decisions. I made terrible decisions and I made great decisions. Some were made after extensive deliberation and some were made on the spot. I have been held accountable for every single decision I was forced to make. Many carry huge regret while others are still heralded as the best decisions I ever made. Some will affect me for the rest of my life and I can hardly bare to think about them and their far reaching effects. Others were but a moment on my big screen.
In the beginning, I made all my decisions on my own. I didn’t trust very many people at all and was, frankly, running exhausted and scared. Business growing, small children, mortgage, expensive divorce(s), you get the picture. I just did what I felt I had to do because at that moment in time I didn’t trust anyone. I find this interesting now because looking back, that was during a time when I trusted myself least of all. Yet, I still forced myself to make all my own decisions without counsel. What terrible decisions I made and what an ugly person I was to be around as I was making some of them.
My business grew and my children grew and the dynamics of my life changed. Instead of needing to be so hands on with both my business and my children, I noticed that I was able to use my brain power a little bit more often than my physical power. I was learning from my mistakes. I was training employees to do the tasks that in the past only I had completed. Consequently, I was able to concentrate on the cerebral side of my company. I learned the hard way that in order to really see progress and success, I needed to empower people around me. I needed to learn how to trust and depend on my employees and business associates. That meant giving some control to my banker, CPA, web man and insurance man. That meant giving some power and even a key to the employees working in the evenings.
That meant realizing that my company could grow even bigger and stronger if I didn’t need to do everything myself. That meant that I didn’t have to make ALL the decisions. Could I pick up the pieces if a bad decision was made when I wasn’t on watch? Absolutely. I learned what an amazing feeling it is to give some power away and watch it flourish and blossom. How great it felt to watch an employee stand taller and sound more decisive and strong when they were given the ability to come up with a plan without asking any questions.
I am realizing now all these years later and as the book is getting closer and closer to release date, that I want to give the decisions away again. I want small business owners all over the globe to know that they don’t need to make all of their decisions all by themselves. That they may not be the experts in every single area of their business and they just might need to place trust and power in others. In order to make the right decisions, they might not need to be the decision maker. They might need to empower those around them to take charge.
In order to make the right decisions right now, I need to not be my decision maker. In exhaustion, I want to give my decisions away to someone else. Tell me where to be, when to be there and even what I should be wearing. It’s too hot outside for me to decide.
As a small business owner and single Mom, decision making demands have been a constant and almost unbearable part of my world. In order to survive, I had to make large and small decisions. I made terrible decisions and I made great decisions. Some were made after extensive deliberation and some were made on the spot. I have been held accountable for every single decision I was forced to make. Many carry huge regret while others are still heralded as the best decisions I ever made. Some will affect me for the rest of my life and I can hardly bare to think about them and their far reaching effects. Others were but a moment on my big screen.
In the beginning, I made all my decisions on my own. I didn’t trust very many people at all and was, frankly, running exhausted and scared. Business growing, small children, mortgage, expensive divorce(s), you get the picture. I just did what I felt I had to do because at that moment in time I didn’t trust anyone. I find this interesting now because looking back, that was during a time when I trusted myself least of all. Yet, I still forced myself to make all my own decisions without counsel. What terrible decisions I made and what an ugly person I was to be around as I was making some of them.
My business grew and my children grew and the dynamics of my life changed. Instead of needing to be so hands on with both my business and my children, I noticed that I was able to use my brain power a little bit more often than my physical power. I was learning from my mistakes. I was training employees to do the tasks that in the past only I had completed. Consequently, I was able to concentrate on the cerebral side of my company. I learned the hard way that in order to really see progress and success, I needed to empower people around me. I needed to learn how to trust and depend on my employees and business associates. That meant giving some control to my banker, CPA, web man and insurance man. That meant giving some power and even a key to the employees working in the evenings.
That meant realizing that my company could grow even bigger and stronger if I didn’t need to do everything myself. That meant that I didn’t have to make ALL the decisions. Could I pick up the pieces if a bad decision was made when I wasn’t on watch? Absolutely. I learned what an amazing feeling it is to give some power away and watch it flourish and blossom. How great it felt to watch an employee stand taller and sound more decisive and strong when they were given the ability to come up with a plan without asking any questions.
I am realizing now all these years later and as the book is getting closer and closer to release date, that I want to give the decisions away again. I want small business owners all over the globe to know that they don’t need to make all of their decisions all by themselves. That they may not be the experts in every single area of their business and they just might need to place trust and power in others. In order to make the right decisions, they might not need to be the decision maker. They might need to empower those around them to take charge.
In order to make the right decisions right now, I need to not be my decision maker. In exhaustion, I want to give my decisions away to someone else. Tell me where to be, when to be there and even what I should be wearing. It’s too hot outside for me to decide.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
12 Days of Silence-Yes, 12!
Two years ago right now I was submitting my application to attend a silent retreat in an Ashram in Northeast Texas. Twelve days with zero talking, very light vegan food and lots of sitting in the lotus position. No phones, no hairdryers, no makeup, no radio, no TV, no electrical anything. No reading. Nothing but you and your soul. Nothing but space, time and quiet to dig really deep. Painfully and necessarily deep. Everyone in my world thought I was bonkers to have committed myself to such a ‘holiday’. The thought that someone as out-spoken and seemingly extroverted as I could never go away for almost two weeks and not say a word was unthinkable.
To me, the idea of silence was a dreamy.
I don’t think a lot of the people in my world know me very well. Extroverts get their stimulation from the people around them. They energize themselves by feeding off of the people, personalities and events in their circle. Introverts are energized by their internal being. I am an introvert. I know how to, can and prefer to energize myself. I am happy to keep myself company. While I just adore being around others, I don’t need to be surrounded in order to be peaceful and content. I don’t have to jump up to answer the phone each time it rings in case I might be missing something going on outside my space. Most of the time I would prefer my phone not ring at all.
My favorite dinner party is the small group of 4 or 6 around a round table where meaningful conversation including all guests can take place. I am not comfortable in the large party where the room needs to be worked and everyone greeted. To an introvert like me, the large party where I might not already know everyone requires me to ‘put my personality on’. To an extrovert, a large party is stimulating and exciting. It takes me days to gear myself up for a large event and hours after to calm down. To an extravert, a large event can unfold on the spur of the moment and they are thrilled.
Have my circumstances forced me to be an extrovert? Absolutely. Does this exhaust me? Absolutely. Am I exhausted by life right now? Yes. Am I anxious to get to my authentic self? Yes. I am anxious to slow down. Settle in. Eliminate drama. Have meaningful conversations with people who matter to me.
Tate has asked me to be quiet. Specifically, ‘the month of July will be a quiet month’, while we work on your manuscript. The universe is unfolding before me and it is making itself known through Tate. I know they are working on the book and they have asked me to be quiet.
I have been begging to be quiet for a long, long time.
Once final manuscripts are submitted to production, Tate makes it very clear that no changes should be made. Apparently, most people tend to want to tweak and revise what they have written and unfortunately, if they make changes they are not usually for the better. This was a relief to hear. I thought, my manuscript is out of my hands after working, fretting and praying on it for so long. I could leave it be and know that the process had begun. I will admit that I am fretting a little bit now. I’ve made a few omissions in my writing and I am worried.
I have not instructed my small business owners to take any quiet time. While I ask them to work hard to define their ‘time’ and the ‘time’ they will take to do specific things for their business, I have not asked them to take any time for themselves. I have not asked them to be silent. If we do not get silent, how can we evaluate our actions?
We spend so much time on Plan A, enacting Plan A, throwing ourselves into Plan A, fighting to make Plan A ‘the’ plan. What if we don’t take any quiet time and come up with a Plan B? If Plan A just isn’t what the universe has ordered, there has got to be a calmly calculated Plan B waiting in the wings. How are we going to see the whole picture if we don’t take any quiet time? How are we going to be successful if we don’t get silent?
How can we honor ourselves and the position we have in the world if we don’t take time to be introspective?
I didn’t make it to my retreat. Lia had just gone off to college and I couldn’t bring myself to be away from Casey or away from the phone in case Lia needed me during her first critical weeks away. Not going was the right decision and I didn’t have any trouble making it. As a very blessed and happy Momma it would have been selfish of me to leave during that time of transition. But I just haven’t been able to get the idea of 12 days of silence in that remote location out of my mind. I think about it, dream about it and crave it, constantly.
Silent Retreat-Plan B. Plan A has run its course.
To me, the idea of silence was a dreamy.
I don’t think a lot of the people in my world know me very well. Extroverts get their stimulation from the people around them. They energize themselves by feeding off of the people, personalities and events in their circle. Introverts are energized by their internal being. I am an introvert. I know how to, can and prefer to energize myself. I am happy to keep myself company. While I just adore being around others, I don’t need to be surrounded in order to be peaceful and content. I don’t have to jump up to answer the phone each time it rings in case I might be missing something going on outside my space. Most of the time I would prefer my phone not ring at all.
My favorite dinner party is the small group of 4 or 6 around a round table where meaningful conversation including all guests can take place. I am not comfortable in the large party where the room needs to be worked and everyone greeted. To an introvert like me, the large party where I might not already know everyone requires me to ‘put my personality on’. To an extrovert, a large party is stimulating and exciting. It takes me days to gear myself up for a large event and hours after to calm down. To an extravert, a large event can unfold on the spur of the moment and they are thrilled.
Have my circumstances forced me to be an extrovert? Absolutely. Does this exhaust me? Absolutely. Am I exhausted by life right now? Yes. Am I anxious to get to my authentic self? Yes. I am anxious to slow down. Settle in. Eliminate drama. Have meaningful conversations with people who matter to me.
Tate has asked me to be quiet. Specifically, ‘the month of July will be a quiet month’, while we work on your manuscript. The universe is unfolding before me and it is making itself known through Tate. I know they are working on the book and they have asked me to be quiet.
I have been begging to be quiet for a long, long time.
Once final manuscripts are submitted to production, Tate makes it very clear that no changes should be made. Apparently, most people tend to want to tweak and revise what they have written and unfortunately, if they make changes they are not usually for the better. This was a relief to hear. I thought, my manuscript is out of my hands after working, fretting and praying on it for so long. I could leave it be and know that the process had begun. I will admit that I am fretting a little bit now. I’ve made a few omissions in my writing and I am worried.
I have not instructed my small business owners to take any quiet time. While I ask them to work hard to define their ‘time’ and the ‘time’ they will take to do specific things for their business, I have not asked them to take any time for themselves. I have not asked them to be silent. If we do not get silent, how can we evaluate our actions?
We spend so much time on Plan A, enacting Plan A, throwing ourselves into Plan A, fighting to make Plan A ‘the’ plan. What if we don’t take any quiet time and come up with a Plan B? If Plan A just isn’t what the universe has ordered, there has got to be a calmly calculated Plan B waiting in the wings. How are we going to see the whole picture if we don’t take any quiet time? How are we going to be successful if we don’t get silent?
How can we honor ourselves and the position we have in the world if we don’t take time to be introspective?
I didn’t make it to my retreat. Lia had just gone off to college and I couldn’t bring myself to be away from Casey or away from the phone in case Lia needed me during her first critical weeks away. Not going was the right decision and I didn’t have any trouble making it. As a very blessed and happy Momma it would have been selfish of me to leave during that time of transition. But I just haven’t been able to get the idea of 12 days of silence in that remote location out of my mind. I think about it, dream about it and crave it, constantly.
Silent Retreat-Plan B. Plan A has run its course.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Hot Momma on the Edge
I am hot. I am tired. I am cranky and I am so done with the whole anticipation, it’s Christmas Eve in June idea. What in the world was I thinking? Ugh. Casey has graduated. My ‘other-one’ Momma, Frances, has been safely put to rest. I’ve put 1620 more miles on my car. It has been in the 90’s+ every day for as long as I can remember and I’m done with it. Time for Tate to help me get the show on the road. I need a new plan, some new direction and an AC that will work for me reliably.
Last Thursday was a particularly horrendous day. I don’t do this Texas heat very well at all. (read: UNDERSTATEMENT) Unfortunately, I had to drive 4 hours for a work function that was a disaster. A team of us ended up cooking and showing food to a customer in an UN air-conditioned warehouse because one of the team members is an idiot. (Yes, I did say that.) After over 2 ½ hours in the UN air-conditioned warehouse, not only was I feeling extremely ill, my patience was worn completely out, my smile totally melted off of my face and my demeanor that of a woman in terminal menopause. The icing on the cake was when we were finally finished, the customer hugged me and he was as sweaty as I. Delightful. Yes, sweaty. Sweat running down my back, soaking my drawers and traveling down to my knees was not ladylike ‘glistening’. It was downright unladylike disgusting.
Took me all Thursday night to calm down and get my core temperature cool again, laying crossways over my hotel room bed, naked, before I would undertake the drive back south on Friday. At this time, I would really like Mr. Hotel Chain Man Owner to explain to me why and how all hotels seem to have this new gimmick of turning OFF the AC in their guest rooms in the middle of the night? All of them seem to do it. Do they really, I mean really, think none of their guests are going to wake up in the middle of the night and notice that the AC in their room has magically turned off so the hotel could save a few pennies? Seriously.
Sorry, I digressed. Friday morning I am up at 4:, in the car by 5: and on the way south to the office to work for 7 hours, give or take, depending on who has a personality in the office and who doesn’t. Three hour dive to the office. AC on full blast. 90 degrees outside already but my car is good and I can do this. Besides, I am totally excited because my Lia is bringing 22 of her Aggie Fish Camp friends to my house for dinner and I GET TO COOK for all of them AND they are all going to hug my neck and call me MOMMA!! I am beyond excited. Get to work. Work, work, meet, work, meet, work, run, run, run, out the door and another hour in the car and home! I am finally here!!!
And my AC is broken and it is 88 degrees inside. Felt like 2 million degrees and I had walked into hell. The butter I had left out on the counter to soften to make my famous Garlic Cheese Bread with is totally MELTED. Not just soft, melted liquid. Which would lead me to believe that the AC had been broken for all the days that I had been away. It is 4:pm and I have 22+ people that I have never met, who are going to hug me and call me Momma, coming for dinner in just under 3 hours. This makes the nightmare of the dinner party I had with no silverware seem like a distant chuckle at this time. (I didn’t mind my cardinal rule and set the table the night before. I left it to last forgetting that I had taken all the silverware from home to the big kitchen to use with an event so when I went to set the table, after some of my guests had started to arrive, I had zero silverware. It really was hilarious now that I think of it. We like shared large serving pieces to eat with. Big huge knives. Toothpicks. Now I am laughing! It WAS funny!)
Call the office. Please fix the AC now. Unfortunately, this is not the first time my AC has gone out in the last month or so. You would have thought they would have fixed it the first, second or even third time, but no, why bother finding out what the real problem is. I’m cooking, baking, sweating and trying to come up with a plan B. We are having dinner here because of the pool. There is a beautiful clubhouse by the pool but it closes at 7: and they will not let me use it. Even though the broken AC is their fault and they are not fixing it, the office has no intention of helping me come up with a plan B. They are not nice people. They are supposed to be giving me a Wonderful Living Experience. Kiss my a__.
6:30 pm. Supposedly the AC is fixed. It’s down to 84 degrees and yes, it will take a couple of hours to cool further.
7:00 pm. Food is ready and I am a wreak. Big wreak. 89 degrees and I am calling the office, again, for one last time. The Big AC fix it man is on the way. I get in the shower praying for cold water. Hah. Who am I kidding? Throw on the little dress with No bra and No drawers because I am crying now I am so hot. I want to just die.
No AC man.
7:30 Kids start showing up! Every single one of them hugging me, calling me Momma and thanking me for having them. 88 degrees and No bra and NO drawers and I am hugging, hugging, hugging. Praise God for Lou showing up with the Vodka and Tonic and fresh Limes!
No AC man.
8:30 pm. Kids are in and out, eating, laughing, talking. We have the doors open to let the cool 85 degree nighttime air in to cool the place off.
Still no AC man.
10:20 pm. AC man is supposedly on the way. Again. Kitchen is clean and I have an opportunity to go shower again and sleep elsewhere but no, I am instructed to wait for the AC man.
11:45 pm. No AC man. I make one final phone call. I wasn’t nice.
Bottom line, I am done with the whole anticipation gig. I am ready for the show to hit the road. I am ready to put the next set of plans in place. I am ready to revisit my goals and challenges. Ummmm, I am ready to rewrite the business plan! I am done with being hot and cranky. I am done with people who say they are going to show and they don’t. I am ready to plan the book signing road tour. I am ready….
Dear Tate Publishing:
Please call me, now. It’s time to get the show on the road. All these small business owners out there who are dying to get out of the heat need to hear from me!
Sincerely,
Annmarie!
Aka: AMCQ (Annmare the Cooking Queen)
2:00 pm Saturday afternoon. THE NEXT DAY! AC man showed up.
Last Thursday was a particularly horrendous day. I don’t do this Texas heat very well at all. (read: UNDERSTATEMENT) Unfortunately, I had to drive 4 hours for a work function that was a disaster. A team of us ended up cooking and showing food to a customer in an UN air-conditioned warehouse because one of the team members is an idiot. (Yes, I did say that.) After over 2 ½ hours in the UN air-conditioned warehouse, not only was I feeling extremely ill, my patience was worn completely out, my smile totally melted off of my face and my demeanor that of a woman in terminal menopause. The icing on the cake was when we were finally finished, the customer hugged me and he was as sweaty as I. Delightful. Yes, sweaty. Sweat running down my back, soaking my drawers and traveling down to my knees was not ladylike ‘glistening’. It was downright unladylike disgusting.
Took me all Thursday night to calm down and get my core temperature cool again, laying crossways over my hotel room bed, naked, before I would undertake the drive back south on Friday. At this time, I would really like Mr. Hotel Chain Man Owner to explain to me why and how all hotels seem to have this new gimmick of turning OFF the AC in their guest rooms in the middle of the night? All of them seem to do it. Do they really, I mean really, think none of their guests are going to wake up in the middle of the night and notice that the AC in their room has magically turned off so the hotel could save a few pennies? Seriously.
Sorry, I digressed. Friday morning I am up at 4:, in the car by 5: and on the way south to the office to work for 7 hours, give or take, depending on who has a personality in the office and who doesn’t. Three hour dive to the office. AC on full blast. 90 degrees outside already but my car is good and I can do this. Besides, I am totally excited because my Lia is bringing 22 of her Aggie Fish Camp friends to my house for dinner and I GET TO COOK for all of them AND they are all going to hug my neck and call me MOMMA!! I am beyond excited. Get to work. Work, work, meet, work, meet, work, run, run, run, out the door and another hour in the car and home! I am finally here!!!
And my AC is broken and it is 88 degrees inside. Felt like 2 million degrees and I had walked into hell. The butter I had left out on the counter to soften to make my famous Garlic Cheese Bread with is totally MELTED. Not just soft, melted liquid. Which would lead me to believe that the AC had been broken for all the days that I had been away. It is 4:pm and I have 22+ people that I have never met, who are going to hug me and call me Momma, coming for dinner in just under 3 hours. This makes the nightmare of the dinner party I had with no silverware seem like a distant chuckle at this time. (I didn’t mind my cardinal rule and set the table the night before. I left it to last forgetting that I had taken all the silverware from home to the big kitchen to use with an event so when I went to set the table, after some of my guests had started to arrive, I had zero silverware. It really was hilarious now that I think of it. We like shared large serving pieces to eat with. Big huge knives. Toothpicks. Now I am laughing! It WAS funny!)
Call the office. Please fix the AC now. Unfortunately, this is not the first time my AC has gone out in the last month or so. You would have thought they would have fixed it the first, second or even third time, but no, why bother finding out what the real problem is. I’m cooking, baking, sweating and trying to come up with a plan B. We are having dinner here because of the pool. There is a beautiful clubhouse by the pool but it closes at 7: and they will not let me use it. Even though the broken AC is their fault and they are not fixing it, the office has no intention of helping me come up with a plan B. They are not nice people. They are supposed to be giving me a Wonderful Living Experience. Kiss my a__.
6:30 pm. Supposedly the AC is fixed. It’s down to 84 degrees and yes, it will take a couple of hours to cool further.
7:00 pm. Food is ready and I am a wreak. Big wreak. 89 degrees and I am calling the office, again, for one last time. The Big AC fix it man is on the way. I get in the shower praying for cold water. Hah. Who am I kidding? Throw on the little dress with No bra and No drawers because I am crying now I am so hot. I want to just die.
No AC man.
7:30 Kids start showing up! Every single one of them hugging me, calling me Momma and thanking me for having them. 88 degrees and No bra and NO drawers and I am hugging, hugging, hugging. Praise God for Lou showing up with the Vodka and Tonic and fresh Limes!
No AC man.
8:30 pm. Kids are in and out, eating, laughing, talking. We have the doors open to let the cool 85 degree nighttime air in to cool the place off.
Still no AC man.
10:20 pm. AC man is supposedly on the way. Again. Kitchen is clean and I have an opportunity to go shower again and sleep elsewhere but no, I am instructed to wait for the AC man.
11:45 pm. No AC man. I make one final phone call. I wasn’t nice.
Bottom line, I am done with the whole anticipation gig. I am ready for the show to hit the road. I am ready to put the next set of plans in place. I am ready to revisit my goals and challenges. Ummmm, I am ready to rewrite the business plan! I am done with being hot and cranky. I am done with people who say they are going to show and they don’t. I am ready to plan the book signing road tour. I am ready….
Dear Tate Publishing:
Please call me, now. It’s time to get the show on the road. All these small business owners out there who are dying to get out of the heat need to hear from me!
Sincerely,
Annmarie!
Aka: AMCQ (Annmare the Cooking Queen)
2:00 pm Saturday afternoon. THE NEXT DAY! AC man showed up.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Thank God I Was A Single Parent
Lou and I were settled in the other night quietly playing a game of Backgammon when Casey and his energy burst in the door carrying sacks of groceries. He was preparing French Toast breakfast for ‘the couples’ (himself, girlfriend Jordan and another couple, their best friends) the following morning. No, I was not allowed to help. No, I could not put out the pretty plates and linen napkins. Yes, he would be using paper towels and yes, that was okay. No, I could not set the table and put the coffee in the pot. No, I didn’t even need to be there.
Unintentionally, I laid my ground work very well. My children were 4 and 6 when I became a single parent and because of the nature of my business and my personality they were forced to be very responsible immediately. Lia and Casey have done their own laundry for as long as I can remember. They know how to load, turn on and even empty the dishwasher. They know how to make their beds and what a hospital corner is. I never had to wake them up in the morning and get them ready for school. They have always gotten themselves up, had breakfast and dressed in the clothes they laid out the night before so that they were ready when I arrived home to drive them to school. They knew how to get themselves fed when there was ABSOLTELY NOTHING to eat in the house.
The three of us have had repeated conversations about how in many ways they were blessed to have been raised in a single parent home. How they had no choice but to have initiative. The power of this foundation is more and more apparent as they move into adulthood and it’s all good. How fabulous to see Casey not only cooking for his guests but cleaning up after. Just recently, Lia had to teach one of her new 20 year old roommates how to do their laundry and what a laundry bag for delicates was!
Just as we lay groundwork for grownup success in our children, as small business owners we absolutely must lay a solid foundation for our business enterprises or we will not enjoy success and reward. I am saddened and shocked both at how many entrepreneurs will sink their life savings into marketing, selling or producing a product without doing any due diligence. They don’t understand the power of managing their time in a manner that is indigenous to their habits. They don’t understand the power of their business relationships. They don’t take the time to manage their employees so that they will have a vested interest in their business. They don’t even take the time to study their potential competition!
Lou and I resumed our Backgammon game talking about my children. How blessed I am to have been able to raise them in an atmosphere that forced a strong foundation for their future. How blessed that I was rewarded with a business that had huge failure and major success. How blessed am I that I will be able to share tools for laying solid ground work with small business owners all over the world. How blessed Lou was that my thoughts were full of my blessings. He won every game of Backgammon we played that night!
Unintentionally, I laid my ground work very well. My children were 4 and 6 when I became a single parent and because of the nature of my business and my personality they were forced to be very responsible immediately. Lia and Casey have done their own laundry for as long as I can remember. They know how to load, turn on and even empty the dishwasher. They know how to make their beds and what a hospital corner is. I never had to wake them up in the morning and get them ready for school. They have always gotten themselves up, had breakfast and dressed in the clothes they laid out the night before so that they were ready when I arrived home to drive them to school. They knew how to get themselves fed when there was ABSOLTELY NOTHING to eat in the house.
The three of us have had repeated conversations about how in many ways they were blessed to have been raised in a single parent home. How they had no choice but to have initiative. The power of this foundation is more and more apparent as they move into adulthood and it’s all good. How fabulous to see Casey not only cooking for his guests but cleaning up after. Just recently, Lia had to teach one of her new 20 year old roommates how to do their laundry and what a laundry bag for delicates was!
Just as we lay groundwork for grownup success in our children, as small business owners we absolutely must lay a solid foundation for our business enterprises or we will not enjoy success and reward. I am saddened and shocked both at how many entrepreneurs will sink their life savings into marketing, selling or producing a product without doing any due diligence. They don’t understand the power of managing their time in a manner that is indigenous to their habits. They don’t understand the power of their business relationships. They don’t take the time to manage their employees so that they will have a vested interest in their business. They don’t even take the time to study their potential competition!
Lou and I resumed our Backgammon game talking about my children. How blessed I am to have been able to raise them in an atmosphere that forced a strong foundation for their future. How blessed that I was rewarded with a business that had huge failure and major success. How blessed am I that I will be able to share tools for laying solid ground work with small business owners all over the world. How blessed Lou was that my thoughts were full of my blessings. He won every game of Backgammon we played that night!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Firm Timeline? Yeah, Right
Yes, I am a kid and it IS Christmas Eve! Sadly, I’d forgotten the Christmas Eve feeling of anticipation a long, long time ago. Now, it’s back and it is the best feeling ever, ever, ever. Kind of like a feeling of young love and lust and… This is most yummy! I know this is quite good and I relish living in this moment. How did I capture Christmas Eve in June? All it took was communication from Tate regarding what to expect from my conceptual editing process. It is here! My time is just around the corner and I can’t wait.
Here is an excerpt: Your Conceptual Editor will be a highly trained professional who works every day with the elements of literature—things like logic, flow, and engagement in nonfiction. He/she is an objective reader who will be both your toughest critic and your closest ally.
You can expect Conceptual Editing to be the most difficult and most rewarding part of the publishing process. It will take time, patience, and hard work from both author and editor.
My toughest critic and my closest ally! Most difficult and most rewarding! Time, patience and hard work! Yes, this is my holiday. I am ready to learn! I am ready for adventure! I am going to keep this feeling of Christmas in my bones for a long, long time. I am going to be rewarded for waiting patiently. For breathing deeply and managing my day to day while waiting. Besides, my new friend Ruth was reading my palm recently and she told me that I was in a time of transition, that I had power in my patience and that in the end, my book was going to be amazing and that I was going to reap success because I was going to empower so many others to thier own success.
I have chosen to believe and envision every single thing that my palm had to tell me!
Meantime, I have been working on my own PR campaign and taping notes all over my vision board. Front and center are my road trip locations! I have been talking about taking a road trip forever and now have the power to finally begin visualizing it. My goal is to get in the car and circle this country visiting all the people I adore and who I call my ‘other one’ families. I’ve now decided that yes, my road trip IS going to be a reality and I am going to be signing books in every single location! I am going to be cooking amazing food in everyone’s kitchens and we are going to visit and talk and share. (drinking really great wine!) This makes me very, very happy!
Along with my little PR campaign, I allowed my friend Gerald to prod me into finally starting a Twitter account. I did it! I’ve told Casey that I am going to be the queen of social networking and of course, he thought that was a hilarious joke. Don’t notice that he has a Twitter account… http://twitter.com/RecipesFrmALife
In closing, Tate tells me that my editing timeline is firm. A firm timeline? Doesn’t get any better than a firm time line! My palm tells me so! Merry Christmas in June!
Here is an excerpt: Your Conceptual Editor will be a highly trained professional who works every day with the elements of literature—things like logic, flow, and engagement in nonfiction. He/she is an objective reader who will be both your toughest critic and your closest ally.
You can expect Conceptual Editing to be the most difficult and most rewarding part of the publishing process. It will take time, patience, and hard work from both author and editor.
My toughest critic and my closest ally! Most difficult and most rewarding! Time, patience and hard work! Yes, this is my holiday. I am ready to learn! I am ready for adventure! I am going to keep this feeling of Christmas in my bones for a long, long time. I am going to be rewarded for waiting patiently. For breathing deeply and managing my day to day while waiting. Besides, my new friend Ruth was reading my palm recently and she told me that I was in a time of transition, that I had power in my patience and that in the end, my book was going to be amazing and that I was going to reap success because I was going to empower so many others to thier own success.
I have chosen to believe and envision every single thing that my palm had to tell me!
Meantime, I have been working on my own PR campaign and taping notes all over my vision board. Front and center are my road trip locations! I have been talking about taking a road trip forever and now have the power to finally begin visualizing it. My goal is to get in the car and circle this country visiting all the people I adore and who I call my ‘other one’ families. I’ve now decided that yes, my road trip IS going to be a reality and I am going to be signing books in every single location! I am going to be cooking amazing food in everyone’s kitchens and we are going to visit and talk and share. (drinking really great wine!) This makes me very, very happy!
Along with my little PR campaign, I allowed my friend Gerald to prod me into finally starting a Twitter account. I did it! I’ve told Casey that I am going to be the queen of social networking and of course, he thought that was a hilarious joke. Don’t notice that he has a Twitter account… http://twitter.com/RecipesFrmALife
In closing, Tate tells me that my editing timeline is firm. A firm timeline? Doesn’t get any better than a firm time line! My palm tells me so! Merry Christmas in June!
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