My Cemetary Garden

The mound over my ‘Other One’ Momma, Frances’ grave is totally misshapen as a result of the dysfunctional weather we have been having the last month or so. Where just a few months ago it was a new smooth hump, today it was hills and valleys. Perfect for me to cover with the massive amount of flowers I purchased this morning at Hobby Lobby. I covered the miniature hills and valleys with a vast array of colorful plastic blossoms, spread out my blanket as close to my cemetery garden as possible and settled in for a long deep conversation.

Tomorrow is my Frances’ birthday. I’ve been with her for each of her last 17 birthdays. It is very appropriate that her birthday would make Valentine’s Day a two day holiday for us. In the beginning we would go out to dinner and/or the theatre to celebrate. In the middle, birthday celebrations were at a varied assortment of assisted living homes. In the end, there were a couple of birthdays in nondescript rehabilitation homes and dreadful hospital rooms. Regardless of where, the festivities always included flowers and a Dairy Queen Blizzard. No one loves either as much as we did. Together. I haven’t had a Blizzard since she passed. Just wouldn’t taste the same.

The hole in my heart that was created when my Frances went to the other side is both unbelievable and unbearable. The only thing soothing it is knowing that she is at peace with the one and only love of her life, her husband Paul. They only regret is that I didn’t make the years I had with her even more valuable and phenomenal memories even more phenomenal.

I want you to stop. Stop what you are working on and take a moment to look around you and breathe. Give yourself a new chunk of time. Right now. If you can spare five minutes, take it. If you can spare five hours, please take them. Go to someone you adore and shower them with flowers. Not just because it is Valentine’s Day. Do it because it will feed your soul and theirs. Do it because this life is so short and the relationships we treasure are more important than an extra Spring afternoon working your business. I promise you that you will return to tasks at hand feeling refreshed, energized and with a new perspective on priorities. Your business isn’t going to go anywhere if you are gone for a small chunk of time. What you are dealing with in this moment will still be here in the next.

My chat with Frances today was amazing and I expected nothing less. She answered my questions with the candor and honesty she has always used with me. The plastic garden I planted swayed in the breeze and showered me with her unconditional love. My wish for you is a relationship with an ‘Other One’ Momma of your own and an afternoon to shower each other with attention.