Casey's Rocket Ship

Last Fall, My Casey and a group of his Younglife brothers got together and came up with personal goals called ‘Rocket Ships’. On a whim, Casey proclaimed that his ‘Rocket Ship’ was to run the Austin Marathon, just a few months away. The goals the other guys set for themselves were as equally physically challenging if not more so. I don’t remember them correctly but I think one of them was going to slam dunk a basketball and another was going to ride his bike from Austin to Colorado.

Unbeknownst to anyone really at all, Casey started training. Every now and then I would see a Facebook reference to the #rocketship. Then one day I was working in town and happened to drive up the street where he lives and there he was out running. Running and not to be interrupted to hug his Momma. Light bulb! My Casey is serious and he is going to run the Austin Marathon. All 26 miles of it. His mind was set. He was putting a training plan in place, conditioning himself and he was going to do it.

Casey ran the Austin Marathon last Sunday. The whole thing. I was in a hotel room watching his progress on my computer jumping up and down, praying, jumping some more and praying some more as his orange bubble arrow on the screen told me approximately where he was and which check points he had passed. He finished the whole freaking marathon and he finished it in the middle of the pack. He reached his Rocket Ship. The first and youngest of his group of brothers to achieve their goal, My Casey ‘did it’.

I am beside myself. Seriously and happily beside myself. I drilled initiative into my children. I drilled into them with all my might that they CAN visualize their future and they CAN effect change. I beat into them that they CAN do anything they want to do. My Casey set his Rocket Ship goal before he had any idea how he was going to train for and achieve it. He decided. He visualized. He planned. He trained. He did it!

When is the last time you set a goal? When is the last time you put out to the universe what you wanted. You didn’t know how you were going to get it but you knew you wanted it anyway. Once you set the goal, did you put a plan in place to achieve it talking and visualizing all the way? When is the last time you 'did it'?!

Five years ago I put purple note cards all over my house that just said ‘The Book’ on them. Didn’t know which book as back then I was actually working on the cookbook. Didn’t know how I was going to do it. Didn’t really know why I was going to do it. I just knew I wanted to write and I wanted to write ‘The Book’. Five years and two moves later, on my vision board is the last of the purple note cards. Five years later, my book is about to be released.

My Casey is only 19 years old and in my opinion he has it figured out. He came out an old soul and he is working his life with maturity. He understands that his destiny is his alone to master and he is well on the way. I’ve encountered many people who will argue to their death that they need the plan and the money before they set the goal. How very sad. When Casey set his goal of running the Austin Marathon he didn’t even own a pair of running shoes.

Now, not only does he have the shoes, he has the medal. He and his Rocket Ship can do anything. What is your Rocket Ship going to be?

Outside and over my fear-thank you, Martha Stewart

Admittedly, I totally dig American Idol. I love The Apprentice also. I think Jennifer Lopez is stunning (and Simon’s t-shirts were delicious) and Donald Trump is just a trip. Years ago there were plans for a new show, Martha Stewart’s Apprentice. It actually aired one season, the season after she was released from jail. I didn’t watch any of it. But, full discloser here, I auditioned for it.

My company was doing well. Business was very good. But I wanted to shake some boredom and take things to the next level, somehow, someway. I signed up for an intimate marketing class being taught by a friend of a friend. We worked on things like finding our niche, taking useless headshots and perfecting our elevator speeches. A lot of money spent to spend a lot of time socializing with other entrepreneurs. At the time, The Apprentice was new, Mr. Trump was hot, Martha was riding on his coat tails with a cloned show and my new wacky marketing friends thought that I would be a shoe in. I was probably a bottle of wine or two in before I committed.

I applied to audition and was accepted to interview in person in Oklahoma City. With children farmed out, gas in the car, toothbrush and deodorant packed, resumes copied on bright yellow paper, I drove seven hours non-stop to Oklahoma City to the appropriate audition hotel. I was completely out of my box and into a seriously uncomfortable zone. The experience was an all night one. Sitting, standing, inside, outside in the pouring rain and then the drizzle. Alone. In a group. Big group, little group. Sizing up the competition. Being sized up by the competition. There were beautiful people. A few pit bulls. And every size, age and shape. And me.

The actual audition took about three and a half seconds and boom, my toothbrush, plastic smile and I were in the car for the long drive home. What in the world had my yellow resume and I just done? Seriously? Martha Stewart’s Apprentice? What the heck was I thinking?

I was thinking outside of the box. In doing so, I gave myself a much needed shot of energy. A spark. A conversation starter. Something to put in a press release. I was so silly proud. I was exhausted on adrenaline.

Just like I am so proud of every single American Idol contestant. Some of them are terrifically dreadful and some of them are dreadfully embarrassing but seriously, come on, SO WHAT?! They are out there! Completely outside of their comfort level and functioning in an unknown atmosphere on nothing but adrenaline with huge cameras in their faces. Every one of them needs to be so proud. They are taking a chance, following a hunch, a dream or a dare. They are DOING something!

When is the last time you took yourself out of your comfort zone? When is the last time you did something outside the box? When is the last time you took a chance? When is the last time you challenged yourself and rejuvenated your business plans as a result? When is last time you stepped outside and OVER your fears? When did you last make the decision to live instead of just exist on habit?

Thank you, Martha Stewart, for passing me by. Hope you are doing well. Looks like I was supposed to write the book instead. Thank you wacky marketing friends. Good thing I had a headshot for the back cover.

My Cemetary Garden

The mound over my ‘Other One’ Momma, Frances’ grave is totally misshapen as a result of the dysfunctional weather we have been having the last month or so. Where just a few months ago it was a new smooth hump, today it was hills and valleys. Perfect for me to cover with the massive amount of flowers I purchased this morning at Hobby Lobby. I covered the miniature hills and valleys with a vast array of colorful plastic blossoms, spread out my blanket as close to my cemetery garden as possible and settled in for a long deep conversation.

Tomorrow is my Frances’ birthday. I’ve been with her for each of her last 17 birthdays. It is very appropriate that her birthday would make Valentine’s Day a two day holiday for us. In the beginning we would go out to dinner and/or the theatre to celebrate. In the middle, birthday celebrations were at a varied assortment of assisted living homes. In the end, there were a couple of birthdays in nondescript rehabilitation homes and dreadful hospital rooms. Regardless of where, the festivities always included flowers and a Dairy Queen Blizzard. No one loves either as much as we did. Together. I haven’t had a Blizzard since she passed. Just wouldn’t taste the same.

The hole in my heart that was created when my Frances went to the other side is both unbelievable and unbearable. The only thing soothing it is knowing that she is at peace with the one and only love of her life, her husband Paul. They only regret is that I didn’t make the years I had with her even more valuable and phenomenal memories even more phenomenal.

I want you to stop. Stop what you are working on and take a moment to look around you and breathe. Give yourself a new chunk of time. Right now. If you can spare five minutes, take it. If you can spare five hours, please take them. Go to someone you adore and shower them with flowers. Not just because it is Valentine’s Day. Do it because it will feed your soul and theirs. Do it because this life is so short and the relationships we treasure are more important than an extra Spring afternoon working your business. I promise you that you will return to tasks at hand feeling refreshed, energized and with a new perspective on priorities. Your business isn’t going to go anywhere if you are gone for a small chunk of time. What you are dealing with in this moment will still be here in the next.

My chat with Frances today was amazing and I expected nothing less. She answered my questions with the candor and honesty she has always used with me. The plastic garden I planted swayed in the breeze and showered me with her unconditional love. My wish for you is a relationship with an ‘Other One’ Momma of your own and an afternoon to shower each other with attention.

Good Pain

How bad does pain have to be before we stop and take notice? Physical pain. Relational pain. Emotional pain. At what pain point do you stop and say, “Enough is enough” and decide to deal with whatever the issue? At what point do you stop blocking out pain and decide to address it before it is debilitating?

I have a serious pain right now. No boring details here, but I hurt. It’s not emotional so please don’t worry about any sort of rambling pointless tale. None the less, I have a pain and it has halted me enough in my tracks to decide that it is time to address it. In stopping and getting quiet and trying to focus, as usual my mind collides with issues long since addressed but worth readdressing: pain within your business.

I was looking at some amazing quotes to post on the Facebook page (Annmarie (writer)) earlier today and found my mind wandering to the days I was in business and to my relationship with my employees. With the book coming out, I have a list started of the old employees, including ‘my boys’ that need to get a fresh signed copy right away. There are some old employees of mine to whom I owe either a debt of gratitude or an apology. My intention is to send each book with a personal note.

Some of my employees were a pain. A major pain. But what invaluable lessons I learned from them in finally addressing the pain I allowed them to cause me! Some lessons that I didn’t even know I was learning until many years later while some lessons were learned on the spot. I had terrible employees that I should have fired long before I did. I had rotten employees I was brave enough to release just in time. I had great employees that I should have given more power and credit too. Each type -class A pains.

There is lots of pain in owning your own business. Some of it is great, like pains that come with growth, major decision making and too much business. Some of it is downright painful like an employee who steals or lies. Either way, we all need to stop and address our pain regardless of what it is. Proactively reacting to pain head on everyday is only going to make us stronger and more intuitive. You will become a better leader for addressing the pains in your path instead of just being a lukewarm manager who trudges forward following procedure, painfully. Successful business owners and leaders are not afraid of pain. I don’t want you to be either.

Yes, I am going to successfully address my pain. Now.

PS. annmaries.org is looking great and I can't wait for you to see it!

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As always, thank you!