It Was a Very Long Walk to the Taxi Stand

This post was actually written last week just after I first saw Recipes From A Life online for the first time. Thank you for reading...

I can’t leave the soft neutral cocoon of my hotel room. I’m paralyzed. I’m on the 16th floor with an over the top mountain view. I’m afraid that if I leave this space, the bubble will burst. I’m not ready for the real world. I don’t have a new plan.

I’ve written and talked ad nauseum about plans and goals and dreams and how integral they are to the fiber of your being. As you know, my biggest goal over the last five years has been ‘The Book’. As you also now know, ‘The Book’ went live online for sale and I went unlive and into shock. I can’t leave my room without a new plan. The wind is out of my sails and I have no breath.

Last night after seeing Recipes From A Life online for the first time, I sat in the princess chair in front of my floor to ceiling window and watched the mountains change color with the setting sun. I ordered room service. I took a really long scalding bath in the huge contoured bathtub with a double amount of lavender and eucalyptus bath salts. I got cozy in the bed surrounded by a dozen pillows and watched American Idol AND all its commercials from one comfortable position without moving. Without breathing. I operated the automatic drape and sheer drape control from my bedside buttons opening and closing them in rhythm. Open the drape. Open the sheer. Mountains still there. Close the sheer. Close the drape. I wouldn’t let turn down service come in because I was afraid that they would bring the outside world in with them. Missed out on the exquisite pillow chocolates because of that. Is this shock?

I can’t leave this womb like hotel room without another big dream. Sure, I have lots of little plans. Get a new car. (A green convertible Porsche to be exact.) Move to a house surrounded by trees. Spend more time with my nieces and nephews. Buy myself flowers. Take myself out on dates. But what is the bigger plan? Work on a flat stomach? Building things and biking somewhere seem to be taken.

Lou was in a 4 day national shooting competition last summer. He was ready. Equipment working the way it needed to and his mental state was prepared. Then he went out on day one and won the events of that day. Day two, he fell apart. His goal was to win. Once he won and got the heavy wall plaque, he lost it. It was tough for him to realize that he didn’t have a back up goal or alternate plan. He lost sleep, chastised himself and gutted it up the rest of the competition doing well but not nearly as well as he could have. Well wasn’t okay because he has the natural ability and the want to be of superior, national championship caliber.

What is your back up plan? How are you going to get out of the comfortable hotel room? You have a plan in place to grow your business. You have a working and flexible business plan on paper and in place. Are you prepared with a plan ‘B’? Do you have in the recesses of your brain a back up goal? Your kids may not want your business. Your partner may not want to buy your portion when the agreed upon time comes. Your landlord may change his mind about leasing you the space next door that you were planning on using for your expansion. What are you going to do now? Lock yourself up in paralysis? What are you going to do to replace the wind in your sails and keep moving along course and on task?

My suitcase is packed. My little pieces of paper with notes on them have all been consolidated. The flowers from my mobile room service table are wilting. My email inboxes are clear and clean. Time for me to get a grip and take a breath. The walk from my room through the lobby to the taxi stand and my ride to the airport is a very long and tedious one. My goal is to have a new plan in place by the time I get there.