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Saturday, September 17, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
A Fire Red Fire of Reality
My little green car and I drove the hour and a half to the office this morning as the sun was showing up. The sky streaked with a haze that reminded me of my youth in Southern California when fires would burn out of control in the canyons: ominous smoky new fire red laying like a thick pillow over the ocean. The drive today was exceptionally long promoting plenty of time for windshield thoughts and reflection. Been a long time, yet just yesterday, since I have seen that kind of nauseous sky.
Right now people are not only losing their homes but all of their possessions. Right here, very close to where I live. Fire is raging in our city and it is not just a fire of flames, it is a fire of reality.
Did you have goals and plans in place when you started your business? What were you working for? Money? Stuff? What did you miss while working so hard to make the money and acquire the stuff? Did you miss ball games? Did you lose your health? Did you lose your marriage? Did you lose friendships? Did you say ‘no’ to family vacations? Did you vacation with your cell phone and computer? Did you have to have a bigger house? Or two?
I don’t know what the people who are losing everything right now are thinking. I can’t imagine watching my home burn to the ground. I know how I felt when I lost my home to a Hurricane. I know that the ‘stuff’ just really doesn’t matter anymore. Last time I went on vacation I didn’t take my computer and put an away message on my phone. Took losing everything to have that reality check.
My little green car now has 197,000 miles on her and we plan on going 50,000 more. I can fit into her just about everything I need. The stuff doesn’t matter anymore. Heartfelt prayers for the people who are fixing to learn this gut wrenching unprovoked lesson is all that is needed.
Right now people are not only losing their homes but all of their possessions. Right here, very close to where I live. Fire is raging in our city and it is not just a fire of flames, it is a fire of reality.
Did you have goals and plans in place when you started your business? What were you working for? Money? Stuff? What did you miss while working so hard to make the money and acquire the stuff? Did you miss ball games? Did you lose your health? Did you lose your marriage? Did you lose friendships? Did you say ‘no’ to family vacations? Did you vacation with your cell phone and computer? Did you have to have a bigger house? Or two?
I don’t know what the people who are losing everything right now are thinking. I can’t imagine watching my home burn to the ground. I know how I felt when I lost my home to a Hurricane. I know that the ‘stuff’ just really doesn’t matter anymore. Last time I went on vacation I didn’t take my computer and put an away message on my phone. Took losing everything to have that reality check.
My little green car now has 197,000 miles on her and we plan on going 50,000 more. I can fit into her just about everything I need. The stuff doesn’t matter anymore. Heartfelt prayers for the people who are fixing to learn this gut wrenching unprovoked lesson is all that is needed.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Dear Annmarie, I finished your book...
With nearly 40 years in business, I have never read a book that was so inspiring, and a book that I needed, so much.
I am married to my wife, Sharon, I have a son, Clint, and a daughter, Grace. I run several businesses, and I continually start new businesses for clients. I am going to school working on my MBA, and I am doing a reality show where I help people start the business of their dreams.
Honestly, my life is kind of a mess. Although I appear to clients and friends and the network, that I am in complete control, the truth is that most of the time my head is spinning. Once or twice a month, I spend the day in my office cleaning up the mess. I would like to think that I'm organized, but that only lasts for a few minutes until my next meeting.
I have owned and operated many businesses in my life. My co-producer and the network calls me the "Business Master". But after reading your book, I can see that I have so much work to do on myself and on my businesses.
When I began reading your book, I took a piece of paper and started making notes as I read. I wanted to soak it all in, and make sure I followed your directions to the "T". I read and re-read each page, and made my notes. I cried when I read parts in your book where you struggled. It made me think of the Friday afternoon, when I paid my large crew. Most of them didn't have bank accounts, so I would meet them at the bank and hand out checks. Then I went inside the bank with them, and verified for them so they could cash their checks. When I got home that Friday evening, I sat down to relax and watch a little TV. Suddenly the power went off. I was startled, and asked my wife what happened. She was afraid to tell me, but she finally said, "We didn't have enough money to pay the electric bill". Friday evening, and they just turned off the power! Our 16 yr. old son, stood up, and said, "I'm going to grandma's!"
But after reading a few pages in your book, I soon realized that just tweaking my business would not be enough. I will have to re-build my business. I want you to know that you have given me the best plan.
I have implemented several of your ideas into my daily routine already, but soon I will take a good break from work and spend some time revamping my entire business. This will take some time, because I have such a large structure with several businesses, and the reality show. But over that past 3 years things have really gotten out of control.
I just wanted to tell you that your book, your stories and your suggestions, business tips and ideas have already really helped me. What you put in your book is invaluable to me. And I know over the years many people will feel the same way.
We never know how we will touch people. I know that sometimes I think that the work that I do, doesn't mean much. Many times I feel like giving up on something because I am so overwhelmed.
But I think of President Abraham Lincoln, and how he had 10 major failures and setbacks in 29 years. And then he was elected President Of The United States. What if he had given up somewhere along the line? And even what if he had been successful at any one of the endeavors that he attempted? What if he had won the Senate? What if he had become a Congressmen? He may have stayed there, and made that his career, and we may have never had one of the best Presidents our country has ever had.
I'm not a quitter, and I don't give up. But I do get tired, and I become discouraged.
Annmarie, I want to thank you for taking the time to write your book. For taking the time to write your stories. For taking the time to share your business tips, and thank you for giving me your secrets. I know in time my business...businesses will mean more to me, and will be more valuable because you took the time.
Thank you Annmarie.
Paul
I am married to my wife, Sharon, I have a son, Clint, and a daughter, Grace. I run several businesses, and I continually start new businesses for clients. I am going to school working on my MBA, and I am doing a reality show where I help people start the business of their dreams.
Honestly, my life is kind of a mess. Although I appear to clients and friends and the network, that I am in complete control, the truth is that most of the time my head is spinning. Once or twice a month, I spend the day in my office cleaning up the mess. I would like to think that I'm organized, but that only lasts for a few minutes until my next meeting.
I have owned and operated many businesses in my life. My co-producer and the network calls me the "Business Master". But after reading your book, I can see that I have so much work to do on myself and on my businesses.
When I began reading your book, I took a piece of paper and started making notes as I read. I wanted to soak it all in, and make sure I followed your directions to the "T". I read and re-read each page, and made my notes. I cried when I read parts in your book where you struggled. It made me think of the Friday afternoon, when I paid my large crew. Most of them didn't have bank accounts, so I would meet them at the bank and hand out checks. Then I went inside the bank with them, and verified for them so they could cash their checks. When I got home that Friday evening, I sat down to relax and watch a little TV. Suddenly the power went off. I was startled, and asked my wife what happened. She was afraid to tell me, but she finally said, "We didn't have enough money to pay the electric bill". Friday evening, and they just turned off the power! Our 16 yr. old son, stood up, and said, "I'm going to grandma's!"
But after reading a few pages in your book, I soon realized that just tweaking my business would not be enough. I will have to re-build my business. I want you to know that you have given me the best plan.
I have implemented several of your ideas into my daily routine already, but soon I will take a good break from work and spend some time revamping my entire business. This will take some time, because I have such a large structure with several businesses, and the reality show. But over that past 3 years things have really gotten out of control.
I just wanted to tell you that your book, your stories and your suggestions, business tips and ideas have already really helped me. What you put in your book is invaluable to me. And I know over the years many people will feel the same way.
We never know how we will touch people. I know that sometimes I think that the work that I do, doesn't mean much. Many times I feel like giving up on something because I am so overwhelmed.
But I think of President Abraham Lincoln, and how he had 10 major failures and setbacks in 29 years. And then he was elected President Of The United States. What if he had given up somewhere along the line? And even what if he had been successful at any one of the endeavors that he attempted? What if he had won the Senate? What if he had become a Congressmen? He may have stayed there, and made that his career, and we may have never had one of the best Presidents our country has ever had.
I'm not a quitter, and I don't give up. But I do get tired, and I become discouraged.
Annmarie, I want to thank you for taking the time to write your book. For taking the time to write your stories. For taking the time to share your business tips, and thank you for giving me your secrets. I know in time my business...businesses will mean more to me, and will be more valuable because you took the time.
Thank you Annmarie.
Paul
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Lost Satelitte Signal - My Vacationing GPS
LOST SATELITTE SIGNAL. My GPS has been telling me this for two days. The sky is crystal clear, not a puffy white cloud in site and my GPS is LOST. Bad timing for it to be lost as I am on the road. No telling it that however. My GPS is obviously taking a break. It must be tired of figuring out how to send me to wherever it is I demand it to direct me to every day. It is tired of blazing new trails through the middle of the nowhere that can be the vastness of Texas. Or it is just too damn hot.
I haven’t lost my mind, surprisingly. I’ve calmly gone back to paying attention to my surroundings, taking my time, reading road signs, breathing deeply and chatting with God and anyone else who will take my roaming phone calls. I’ve referred back to my dearly departed friend, Mapquest, a couple of times and that has worked out just fine.
In the past I would have lost my mind. Wanted to be frustrated and to see how high I could get my blood pressure. Not anymore. In my past life, I remember chasing delivery trucks down the street while still in a hairnet and apron. I remember being angry at suppliers for events out of their control. I remember passionately yelling at an ex-husband. Or two.
Not anymore. I am no longer that person. When did the switch flip? For the life of me I can’t remember the last time I yelled and thought I was going to spontaneously combust. I like this new person and am glad the old one is long gone. I don’t intend on seeing her again.
Not raising our voices is a good thing. Being calm in the moment is a good thing. Wish I had been brave enough to tell this to the woman at the gas station pump next to me this morning as she was screeching at her three small children from the top of her lungs. She would have reached them on a much deeper level if she had talked to them calmly.
Stop the yelling. It won’t get you anywhere. Neither will my vacationing GPS.
I haven’t lost my mind, surprisingly. I’ve calmly gone back to paying attention to my surroundings, taking my time, reading road signs, breathing deeply and chatting with God and anyone else who will take my roaming phone calls. I’ve referred back to my dearly departed friend, Mapquest, a couple of times and that has worked out just fine.
In the past I would have lost my mind. Wanted to be frustrated and to see how high I could get my blood pressure. Not anymore. In my past life, I remember chasing delivery trucks down the street while still in a hairnet and apron. I remember being angry at suppliers for events out of their control. I remember passionately yelling at an ex-husband. Or two.
Not anymore. I am no longer that person. When did the switch flip? For the life of me I can’t remember the last time I yelled and thought I was going to spontaneously combust. I like this new person and am glad the old one is long gone. I don’t intend on seeing her again.
Not raising our voices is a good thing. Being calm in the moment is a good thing. Wish I had been brave enough to tell this to the woman at the gas station pump next to me this morning as she was screeching at her three small children from the top of her lungs. She would have reached them on a much deeper level if she had talked to them calmly.
Stop the yelling. It won’t get you anywhere. Neither will my vacationing GPS.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Get the Guts Back!
I was living in a glorious ‘over the garage/pool house’ apartment in Belmont Shores, CA, the coast of Long Beach, with my fun friend Lori. Our home was amazing; full of light, life, great music and great times. Lots of laughter and as much dancing as we could fit in. Lipstick notes plastering the bathroom mirror demanding each other to take care of #1.
Then I vacationed in Tulsa and had a blast in a new place with new people exploring new places. A week after my vacation a man I met there called, “When are you moving to Tulsa?” My perky and energetic 20+ self responded, ‘When are you coming to get me?” This man wasn’t relationship material and I wasn’t interested in him. He was a friend of a fabulous friend.
“Next weekend.”
I had a garage sale. Told my Southern California friends and family I was moving, had a good bye party and left. Moved from the most amazing Southern California coast to God’s Green Country. Within 10 days. Without a second thought or a backward glance and with plenty of spunk. I loved our ‘over the garage/pool house apartment’ and wasn’t running away from anything. In hindsight, it just must have been time.
When do we lose the guts that I had when I dared to let a semi-stranger come to drive me cross country to a new home? When I sold everything until what was left fit in my little car. I couldn’t have been happier at the prospect of a new place, new friends, and new experiences. My energy and enthusiasm, unparalleled, I moved without a place to live, without a job and without any plan B or C. Never occurred to me at the time that I might have needed a backup plan. I don’t even remember if I had any money in the bank.
I just went. The result? Spectacular! Time of my life meeting friends I still have to this day. Not one regret.
Get the guts back. Do something daring with yourself, with your business. Hire someone. Fire someone. Tear down a wall. Open another location. Buy a new company car. Buy a new, huge, fabulous and fresh sign for the front door. Design yourself a new logo and give yourself a new look. Paint something wild.
Be daring. Be grand. Be full of chutzpah. Don’t think. Don’t over analyze. Just get out of your comfort zone. Pretend you are 20+ again and just DO!
Then I vacationed in Tulsa and had a blast in a new place with new people exploring new places. A week after my vacation a man I met there called, “When are you moving to Tulsa?” My perky and energetic 20+ self responded, ‘When are you coming to get me?” This man wasn’t relationship material and I wasn’t interested in him. He was a friend of a fabulous friend.
“Next weekend.”
I had a garage sale. Told my Southern California friends and family I was moving, had a good bye party and left. Moved from the most amazing Southern California coast to God’s Green Country. Within 10 days. Without a second thought or a backward glance and with plenty of spunk. I loved our ‘over the garage/pool house apartment’ and wasn’t running away from anything. In hindsight, it just must have been time.
When do we lose the guts that I had when I dared to let a semi-stranger come to drive me cross country to a new home? When I sold everything until what was left fit in my little car. I couldn’t have been happier at the prospect of a new place, new friends, and new experiences. My energy and enthusiasm, unparalleled, I moved without a place to live, without a job and without any plan B or C. Never occurred to me at the time that I might have needed a backup plan. I don’t even remember if I had any money in the bank.
I just went. The result? Spectacular! Time of my life meeting friends I still have to this day. Not one regret.
Get the guts back. Do something daring with yourself, with your business. Hire someone. Fire someone. Tear down a wall. Open another location. Buy a new company car. Buy a new, huge, fabulous and fresh sign for the front door. Design yourself a new logo and give yourself a new look. Paint something wild.
Be daring. Be grand. Be full of chutzpah. Don’t think. Don’t over analyze. Just get out of your comfort zone. Pretend you are 20+ again and just DO!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Success in the YES
You are challenged this week to walk through your business and look at from your customer’s perspective. How welcoming is your entrance area? How friendly are your employees? What do your floors and walls look like? How much dust is there on your point of sale? How much dust is on the person answering your phones? How fresh and clean is your restroom?
Look objectively and ask yourself if you would use your business.
My current strategy is firmly embedded in ‘no’. ‘No’ to one of my favorite hotels, finally, because I just can’t handle walking through the cloud of cigarette smoke that surrounds the front door. Who decided that was the perfect place to put their smoking area? A strong ‘no’ to the dry cleaner that to is always harried, sloppy and unorganized. No wonder they have repeatedly lost my clothes. Should have said ‘no’ to them a long time ago.
I am saying ‘no’ to what was one of my favorite restaurants. While their food is spectacular, they just can’t bring it to the table with any personality or sincerity. Why am I paying a premium price for food and no service? There are plenty of restaurants with amazing food that I am sure will appreciate my business and they probably have clean restrooms unlike my old favorite.
I am saying ‘yes’ to Nordstrom’s who rocks it with their customer service. I am saying ‘yes’ to the hair dresser who is always on time, offers wine and makes me not only look but feel fabulous; All in a clean, updated and friendly atmosphere. I am saying ‘yes’ to Sprouts because their store is neither a never ending uncomfortable maze nor is it a big, bright and loud box. I am saying ‘yes’ to their simplicity and freshness.
What do you need to do so your customers will continue to say ‘yes’ to you?
Look objectively and ask yourself if you would use your business.
My current strategy is firmly embedded in ‘no’. ‘No’ to one of my favorite hotels, finally, because I just can’t handle walking through the cloud of cigarette smoke that surrounds the front door. Who decided that was the perfect place to put their smoking area? A strong ‘no’ to the dry cleaner that to is always harried, sloppy and unorganized. No wonder they have repeatedly lost my clothes. Should have said ‘no’ to them a long time ago.
I am saying ‘no’ to what was one of my favorite restaurants. While their food is spectacular, they just can’t bring it to the table with any personality or sincerity. Why am I paying a premium price for food and no service? There are plenty of restaurants with amazing food that I am sure will appreciate my business and they probably have clean restrooms unlike my old favorite.
I am saying ‘yes’ to Nordstrom’s who rocks it with their customer service. I am saying ‘yes’ to the hair dresser who is always on time, offers wine and makes me not only look but feel fabulous; All in a clean, updated and friendly atmosphere. I am saying ‘yes’ to Sprouts because their store is neither a never ending uncomfortable maze nor is it a big, bright and loud box. I am saying ‘yes’ to their simplicity and freshness.
What do you need to do so your customers will continue to say ‘yes’ to you?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
A Powerful Sweaty Hug
I heard recently that Asians don’t shake hands because they believe it is giving away their power. They politely bow to each other in acknowledgement in deference to respect and admiration.
You’ve got to love the idea of keeping our power for ourselves.
A sweaty friend of mine recently told me of an encounter where he gave his power away. His sweat has never bothered me. He is clean. He doesn’t smell. Hugging him has never been a problem and seriously, we are in Texas, Mother Nature’s oven.
Recently, my friend, in greeting shook someone’s hand. That person, in a position superior to him, immediately wiped their hand on their pants. Oblivious or obvious, unacceptable. The man I know was giving a piece of himself to this other man in kindness, gratitude and acknowledgement. That piece will never come back to him.
My question is how much power do we give away without thinking? In our busy lives, our time and energy is wildly valuable. How many times have you blown off the salesperson the first time they popped in your door with a quick handshake? You could politely say, “I already have the service you offer. Thank you for coming in but you are not needed at this time. ”
Powerful! You CAN say all of that. Just think about how that salesperson isn’t going to be coming in your door once a week to interrupt you now. They aren’t going to have you on their prospect list and be telling their boss they are going to ‘close’ your account in ‘x’ period of time. They aren’t going to be calling you on the phone when you are already talking on one line and have another on hold. You aren’t going to be irritated by the sight of them.
They may ask your permission to come back and visit and in an effort to stay in control you still are required to be honest. Say, “no, please don’t, let me call you if needed” if you mean it or say, “yes, you may come back to visit but I am not going to give you any promises.” They are doing their job and you are running your business.
No one wants to go where they are not wanted. By telling that salesperson what your needs are, up front, like the respectful business owner you are, you are saving your power for your real needs and you are letting your potential vendor save their power for their other customers or for when you do need them.
My friend won’t be giving his power away any more to anyone that might brush him off. He is going to save his handshakes for his customers who adore him and for me who digs his sweaty hugs.
You’ve got to love the idea of keeping our power for ourselves.
A sweaty friend of mine recently told me of an encounter where he gave his power away. His sweat has never bothered me. He is clean. He doesn’t smell. Hugging him has never been a problem and seriously, we are in Texas, Mother Nature’s oven.
Recently, my friend, in greeting shook someone’s hand. That person, in a position superior to him, immediately wiped their hand on their pants. Oblivious or obvious, unacceptable. The man I know was giving a piece of himself to this other man in kindness, gratitude and acknowledgement. That piece will never come back to him.
My question is how much power do we give away without thinking? In our busy lives, our time and energy is wildly valuable. How many times have you blown off the salesperson the first time they popped in your door with a quick handshake? You could politely say, “I already have the service you offer. Thank you for coming in but you are not needed at this time. ”
Powerful! You CAN say all of that. Just think about how that salesperson isn’t going to be coming in your door once a week to interrupt you now. They aren’t going to have you on their prospect list and be telling their boss they are going to ‘close’ your account in ‘x’ period of time. They aren’t going to be calling you on the phone when you are already talking on one line and have another on hold. You aren’t going to be irritated by the sight of them.
They may ask your permission to come back and visit and in an effort to stay in control you still are required to be honest. Say, “no, please don’t, let me call you if needed” if you mean it or say, “yes, you may come back to visit but I am not going to give you any promises.” They are doing their job and you are running your business.
No one wants to go where they are not wanted. By telling that salesperson what your needs are, up front, like the respectful business owner you are, you are saving your power for your real needs and you are letting your potential vendor save their power for their other customers or for when you do need them.
My friend won’t be giving his power away any more to anyone that might brush him off. He is going to save his handshakes for his customers who adore him and for me who digs his sweaty hugs.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Are You the Body Left Behind? - Part 2
Kelly Wilson and I were going to be friends forever. She got me through my first divorce and I got her to the altar when she got married. I loved Kelly and she loved me. In our 20’s we connected like sisters. I loved her energy, her family, her dogs... You get the picture. Kelly and I drank great wine together, loved to cook and entertain together, hot air ballooned together and shared more than a few secrets, together. After visiting her in Tulsa one beautiful spring 20+ years ago, I even moved to that Green Country city, on the strength of our friendship. A move I have never regretted.
Newly settled into my new city, I was into my career and Kelly, a new wife, was into cocaine. Apparently, Kelly used me as an ‘out’ when she was out and I was in.
I am the body that Kelly left behind.
Are you the body left behind? Does it hurt? How many people do you think about in the middle of the night when the world is still and realize that they have left you behind. No explanation, just behind. Done. When the world is still do you realize that you are running your business at break neck speed and that maybe you aren’t the one leaving the bodies behind? It just might be you who is being left behind. You might be the one loosing. Do you owe some apologies? Need some explanations? Reconciliation an option?
I have heard the saying about how people come into our lives for a reason, a season etc. But really, no matter the season, how many people have come through your front or back door and not getting the time or attention deserved, left you (and your business?) behind? How many employees have left your company and their leaving didn’t get deserved attention? How many customers left without explanation?
During more than one hour of centering prayer meditation over my lengthy silent retreat, my mind wandered to the people who have left me behind. I am filled with tears and questions and a sense of urgency to reconnect, if possible, and ask for forgiveness if necessary. How sad that I only now realize that during so many hectic years in business, when I wasn’t connecting, that I was the body left behind.
Please don’t be the body left behind.
Newly settled into my new city, I was into my career and Kelly, a new wife, was into cocaine. Apparently, Kelly used me as an ‘out’ when she was out and I was in.
I am the body that Kelly left behind.
Are you the body left behind? Does it hurt? How many people do you think about in the middle of the night when the world is still and realize that they have left you behind. No explanation, just behind. Done. When the world is still do you realize that you are running your business at break neck speed and that maybe you aren’t the one leaving the bodies behind? It just might be you who is being left behind. You might be the one loosing. Do you owe some apologies? Need some explanations? Reconciliation an option?
I have heard the saying about how people come into our lives for a reason, a season etc. But really, no matter the season, how many people have come through your front or back door and not getting the time or attention deserved, left you (and your business?) behind? How many employees have left your company and their leaving didn’t get deserved attention? How many customers left without explanation?
During more than one hour of centering prayer meditation over my lengthy silent retreat, my mind wandered to the people who have left me behind. I am filled with tears and questions and a sense of urgency to reconnect, if possible, and ask for forgiveness if necessary. How sad that I only now realize that during so many hectic years in business, when I wasn’t connecting, that I was the body left behind.
Please don’t be the body left behind.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Win-Win, Winners all Around.
My new silent retreat attitude and I have been able to spend a few days, alone, in Chicago; specifically downtown Chicago a breath away from the Magnificent Michigan Mile. I’ve been very concerned about keeping my silent retreat oaths to myself since I left the powerful cocoon of my retreat experience.
I need not have worried. You can do Chicago, alone, and still keep quiet. You CAN do your life and stay focused on your goals and intentions, ONCE YOU HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT THEY ARE!
How often do you sidestep your own plans to do something for your business? How often do you work late instead of going home just to make an extra buck? For instance, do you feel you have to be the last one out at night? Can’t sleep unless you personally lock the door? What about that $15.00 an hour employee that you trust explicitly because they are your best friend’s kid and you’ve known them their whole life? Could they lock up for you and answer those few last phone calls and take those few last orders and messages? You go home, have dinner with your family, play with your kids, stay OFF the phone and computer and then go to bed with a satisfied smile and your satisfied spouse/partner.
That $15.00 an hour employee just made a few extra bucks and they go home with a satisfied smile because you just empowered them. Think about it. Win-win, winners all around.
One of your goals spending more time with your family? If I can stay in downtown Chicago and keep my pledges to myself, you can go home.
Have a clear picture? Commit to it. Do it.
I need not have worried. You can do Chicago, alone, and still keep quiet. You CAN do your life and stay focused on your goals and intentions, ONCE YOU HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE OF WHAT THEY ARE!
How often do you sidestep your own plans to do something for your business? How often do you work late instead of going home just to make an extra buck? For instance, do you feel you have to be the last one out at night? Can’t sleep unless you personally lock the door? What about that $15.00 an hour employee that you trust explicitly because they are your best friend’s kid and you’ve known them their whole life? Could they lock up for you and answer those few last phone calls and take those few last orders and messages? You go home, have dinner with your family, play with your kids, stay OFF the phone and computer and then go to bed with a satisfied smile and your satisfied spouse/partner.
That $15.00 an hour employee just made a few extra bucks and they go home with a satisfied smile because you just empowered them. Think about it. Win-win, winners all around.
One of your goals spending more time with your family? If I can stay in downtown Chicago and keep my pledges to myself, you can go home.
Have a clear picture? Commit to it. Do it.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Out of the Silence, a Love Letter
The plan was to spend a significant amount of time during my week long silent retreat writing lots of thought provoking blog posts with messages, per usual, about ways for you to propel yourself towards success. I planned to give plenty of ‘food for thought’ with words about what you need to be thinking about in order to achieve your dreams. In my time of quiet, I knew I would be able to focus on what needed to be said to help you grow your business and grow your sense of satisfaction within it.
Instead, with no phone, no computer, no talking and no one, Praise God, talking to me, I wrote longhand, a 200+ page love letter to My children, Lia and Casey.
I’ve been writing ad nausea about getting quiet and how within it you would be able to see what you needed to do for your business, yourself and your family. I’ve tried to convey that if you didn’t achieve peace, you would not achieve success on any level. My Skeeter used to say to me, “You can run your business, but your sure can’t run your personal life”. In hindsight, if I had spent some time in silence, I just might have figured out how to be successful both professionally and personally, at the same time. I wouldn’t have had the ups and downs I did along the way.
This quote make infinitely more sense to me now: “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. A wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid that mistake altogether.” I was the smart man and out of the silence of this week long retreat, I am going to do what I can to be wise. Please, I implore, learn from me.
The love letter to My children is beyond powerful. Stories from my youth, from my marriages, lessons I have learned, have not yet learned and lessons I am desperate for them to learn from me. In long hand, everything I wish for them now and on into their futures. How much I love them and why and all the blessings I want laid out for them. How they have blessed me in unbelievable ways and how I know their children will also shower with me blessings unimaginable. Writing this letter over these last six days has been one of the most dynamic things I have ever done and I am amazed beyond compare to have had the quiet time to do it. Writing it had as much to do with healing and empowering me as I hope it empowers and blesses My babies.
Stop. Now. Make concrete plans to get silent. Write a love letter. Then and only then, get back to work.
Instead, with no phone, no computer, no talking and no one, Praise God, talking to me, I wrote longhand, a 200+ page love letter to My children, Lia and Casey.
I’ve been writing ad nausea about getting quiet and how within it you would be able to see what you needed to do for your business, yourself and your family. I’ve tried to convey that if you didn’t achieve peace, you would not achieve success on any level. My Skeeter used to say to me, “You can run your business, but your sure can’t run your personal life”. In hindsight, if I had spent some time in silence, I just might have figured out how to be successful both professionally and personally, at the same time. I wouldn’t have had the ups and downs I did along the way.
This quote make infinitely more sense to me now: “A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. A wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid that mistake altogether.” I was the smart man and out of the silence of this week long retreat, I am going to do what I can to be wise. Please, I implore, learn from me.
The love letter to My children is beyond powerful. Stories from my youth, from my marriages, lessons I have learned, have not yet learned and lessons I am desperate for them to learn from me. In long hand, everything I wish for them now and on into their futures. How much I love them and why and all the blessings I want laid out for them. How they have blessed me in unbelievable ways and how I know their children will also shower with me blessings unimaginable. Writing this letter over these last six days has been one of the most dynamic things I have ever done and I am amazed beyond compare to have had the quiet time to do it. Writing it had as much to do with healing and empowering me as I hope it empowers and blesses My babies.
Stop. Now. Make concrete plans to get silent. Write a love letter. Then and only then, get back to work.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The Bodies we Leave Behind- Part 1
I had dinner recently with a long time dear old friend. We are not a normal pair and from the outside mutual acquaintances probably wonder why we are so close. Even though we are different on many levels, we are in the same place right now-appreciative of quiet and space and full of gratitude and amazement over our respective children. Time flew while we dined, wonderful hours that felt like minutes.
While chatting we touched on a friend of my friend’s. A woman that I had had a brief encounter with years ago that, embarrassingly, didn’t turn out very prettily. I vaguely remember other people being involved and taking sides, terrible things being said and even some name calling and yelling. I remember this being a terrible time in my life. Divorcing my children’s Father, being in and out of court, trying to focus on running my business and being a new single Mom, I was not a nice person and was in anything but a nice place. This is not an excuse. I wasn’t nice and my behavior was not acceptable. Period. I take full responsibility.
What I don’t remember was what in the world our issue was. I don’t remember why we didn’t like each other and why we were so ugly and ridiculously mean. I have no idea why our claws were out and why our actions were so low and immature.
Has me wondering about the bodies we leave behind us. Running our businesses on adrenaline, how many people do we leave in our paths? Not giving the time or attention to people who could make a profound difference on our lives and the success of our business. Did we rush that interview for needing to get out the door and miss out what could have been an amazing hire? Did we cut that customer off and not listen to what they really needed causing them to take their money elsewhere? Were we thoughtlessly rude to a supplier who was just trying to take care of our business needs?
Do we forget to just stop, take a breath, live in the moment and give our full attention to someone in front of us? Do we let our emotions get out of control and not engage when we need to engage and HEAR?
I know in my heart my friend wouldn’t be so close to this woman if she wasn’t amazing. She doesn’t take relationships lightly so being close to this woman must be a blessing. How sad that I may have missed out what on what could also have been an amazing friendship. I’ve asked if I can join them for coffee someday soon. I’d like to apologize and reconnect. I’d like to recover this body instead of leaving it behind. I challenge you to stop leaving bodies behind.
While chatting we touched on a friend of my friend’s. A woman that I had had a brief encounter with years ago that, embarrassingly, didn’t turn out very prettily. I vaguely remember other people being involved and taking sides, terrible things being said and even some name calling and yelling. I remember this being a terrible time in my life. Divorcing my children’s Father, being in and out of court, trying to focus on running my business and being a new single Mom, I was not a nice person and was in anything but a nice place. This is not an excuse. I wasn’t nice and my behavior was not acceptable. Period. I take full responsibility.
What I don’t remember was what in the world our issue was. I don’t remember why we didn’t like each other and why we were so ugly and ridiculously mean. I have no idea why our claws were out and why our actions were so low and immature.
Has me wondering about the bodies we leave behind us. Running our businesses on adrenaline, how many people do we leave in our paths? Not giving the time or attention to people who could make a profound difference on our lives and the success of our business. Did we rush that interview for needing to get out the door and miss out what could have been an amazing hire? Did we cut that customer off and not listen to what they really needed causing them to take their money elsewhere? Were we thoughtlessly rude to a supplier who was just trying to take care of our business needs?
Do we forget to just stop, take a breath, live in the moment and give our full attention to someone in front of us? Do we let our emotions get out of control and not engage when we need to engage and HEAR?
I know in my heart my friend wouldn’t be so close to this woman if she wasn’t amazing. She doesn’t take relationships lightly so being close to this woman must be a blessing. How sad that I may have missed out what on what could also have been an amazing friendship. I’ve asked if I can join them for coffee someday soon. I’d like to apologize and reconnect. I’d like to recover this body instead of leaving it behind. I challenge you to stop leaving bodies behind.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Hyper Aware as my Rocket Ship Draws Closer
I find myself in a state of hyper awareness as I prepare for my own ‘rocket ship’- my silent retreat now just over a week away. I realize that every single person, abrasive, loving or neither, is in my path for a reason. There is a lesson to be learned or a connection to be made with every event, conversation and encounter.
I had a terrible, terrible day yesterday. A wildly out of control day, the kind of which used to be the norm for me when I was insanely running my business and living life-by-crisis. (Just as you are probably doing right now.) Now I am hyper aware that days like yesterday do not need to blindside me and that how I react to them makes all the difference in the world to my blood pressure and the redness in my cheeks. Not to mention relational damage. I choose to not have out of control days anymore so I am overly sensitive to how the day blindsided me and made conscience decisions in how I reacted to it.
After my hysterical day, I made it to my hotel very late. Weeping during the long dark drive like an idiot because all I really wanted was to be going home somewhere to someone special who would draw me a long soak, scrub my back, pour me a glass of wine or three and tell me that everything was going to be all right. That I was doing the right thing and what I had to offer was of value.
But somewhere between the hotel front desk and my room, I dumped my pity party and realized that I was in control of the way I responded to my day and the events that had unfolded in it and that my weeping was irrational. I realized that I needed to step back from my sense of out of control, call on my faith and take care of myself and my own circumstances. I drew my own bath, shaved my legs and fell back on my hyper-aware senses.
I worry about all small business owners who day after day are living out of control inside of their businesses and know clearly that this does NOT need to be the norm. In hindsight, I can only imagine how much more successful I would have been had I run my business in the moment in a state of full awareness every single day. How do we take the feeling of hyper awareness and translate it into how we lead, run, manage and grow our passion for our businesses into success? How do we learn to grow from a position of quiet and awareness instead of one of insanity?
This is what ‘it’ is right now, for all entrepreneurs. We have the choice to step back, lead and manage. My hope for you is that you do what you can to put yourself in a position to revisit how you are running your business, treating your customers and leading your employees. You are challenged to take the time to put yourself into a state of hyper awareness.
I had a terrible, terrible day yesterday. A wildly out of control day, the kind of which used to be the norm for me when I was insanely running my business and living life-by-crisis. (Just as you are probably doing right now.) Now I am hyper aware that days like yesterday do not need to blindside me and that how I react to them makes all the difference in the world to my blood pressure and the redness in my cheeks. Not to mention relational damage. I choose to not have out of control days anymore so I am overly sensitive to how the day blindsided me and made conscience decisions in how I reacted to it.
After my hysterical day, I made it to my hotel very late. Weeping during the long dark drive like an idiot because all I really wanted was to be going home somewhere to someone special who would draw me a long soak, scrub my back, pour me a glass of wine or three and tell me that everything was going to be all right. That I was doing the right thing and what I had to offer was of value.
But somewhere between the hotel front desk and my room, I dumped my pity party and realized that I was in control of the way I responded to my day and the events that had unfolded in it and that my weeping was irrational. I realized that I needed to step back from my sense of out of control, call on my faith and take care of myself and my own circumstances. I drew my own bath, shaved my legs and fell back on my hyper-aware senses.
I worry about all small business owners who day after day are living out of control inside of their businesses and know clearly that this does NOT need to be the norm. In hindsight, I can only imagine how much more successful I would have been had I run my business in the moment in a state of full awareness every single day. How do we take the feeling of hyper awareness and translate it into how we lead, run, manage and grow our passion for our businesses into success? How do we learn to grow from a position of quiet and awareness instead of one of insanity?
This is what ‘it’ is right now, for all entrepreneurs. We have the choice to step back, lead and manage. My hope for you is that you do what you can to put yourself in a position to revisit how you are running your business, treating your customers and leading your employees. You are challenged to take the time to put yourself into a state of hyper awareness.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Proud to be a Helicopter Momma
My son Casey and I texted this morning. Then we went to church. Then we went to breakfast. Then, as if it was any other day, we hugged, kissed, said, “I love you” and ‘be safe” and getting in our separate cars, went our separate ways. Not to see each other again for at least two months.
My Momma tears were extra hot and salty as I drove away waving to him through the back window of my little green car. Same tears that fell a month ago when I said the same, “I love you more” to My Lia knowing I would not see her for almost four months.
My Lia and My Casey far away in other states while I am left behind to sweat out another dreafdul hot Austin, Texas summer. My children on their own. Me, on my own.
My friend Jack has accused me of being a hoover Momma. (Not Hoover like the vacuum cleaner; hoover like a helicopter.) This surprising revelation came on an evening when my hysteria resulting from a few overly stressful weeks was reaching a crescendo. I was in the middle of ridiculous travel, it was dark outside and I had just battled not only Houston tailgating traffic (massive diesel pickup trucks with brilliant bright spot lights speeding up turbo fast on my little green car’s tail) but too many long and drawn out cell phone conversations. Jack is such a gentleman though that he spit out this piece of information only after he had plied me with really great wine and ordered me a sublime dinner in a teeny little high-class one of a kind restaurant. My favorite kind of dining experience.
I immediately took a defensive posture. Silly me. Jack is a very brilliant man and I am very blessed to know him and his bride. They are those once in a lifetime special people and even though I have only known them a few short years, I have heard stories about them for almost two decades. They are the most generous people I will ever meet. I say this all with sincerity as blowing smoke isn’t my style.
In the windshield and beach walking time since Jack’s revelation about my parenting skills, I have come to realize that he was spot on. But not spot on as expected. Spot on as in the amount of possessiveness contained in my ‘My’ words, actions and writings. Yes, I am a hoover Momma but in a dramatically nontraditional whirling helicopter sense.
As a single Momma and business owner, my babies were forced to take care of themselves in ways no one hopes their children will ever have to take care of themselves when they are small. Nine plus mornings out of ten they got themselves up, dressed, fed and ready for school without me there. On these mornings we would see each other only in the car long enough for me to pick them up from the house and drop them off at their respective schools. More often than I care to remember, I couldn’t make it back home from work in the morning and they would have to find a way to school themselves either by calling a friend to have their parent drive them or by walking. I’ll admit now there were even a few days when they just stayed home and we called it a ‘mental health’ day because I just couldn’t play taxi.
My children learned at a very early age how to do their own laundry or sometimes it wouldn’t get done. They learned how to get their homework completed on their own. And while I was out feeding everyone else on the planet, they were getting themselves fed with whatever might be in the house and available to eat. They can boil water, bake chicken and grill their own cheese sandwiches. They can load a dishwasher, fold a bath towel and make their beds.
The three of us have had many conversations about how proud I am of their ‘life’ skills. They had no choice but to learn them. Are my children an exception? Absolutely not. There are gazillions of single parents and business owners out there whose children are raising themselves and have raised themselves. Is this a tough stretch? You bet. Might our children be better off for it? No doubt at all. Do you feel guilty? Yes, you do. Should you? No. Get over it. When your children get to college they will know how to manage their own homework, do their own laundry, get themselves and their roommates fed and get gas in their car without needing to ask how, why or how much. Your children will be much stronger and resilient to change and movement. They won’t be afraid to ask questions and seek answers from authority if needed. They will be grownup in ways some people can only hope their children could be grown up.
Am I a hoover Momma? Sure, I’ll take the title. I am a hoover Momma in that I enjoy and appreciate my children and the amazingly close connection we have. We don’t talk every day and during this long summer, I’ll be lucky to hear from them once a week. But when we do connect, we’ll want to know what is going on, where we are going, what needs to be planned, who we are each spending time with, how work is and what we can do to help each other to be as successful as possible. I don’t ask them what they ate, if their laundry is done, how they paid their bills and how they got from point A to point B. I will ask them if they are happy and I will tell them I love them madly and am proud of them and that I am the luckiest Momma in the world.
If this is hovering, I’m all over it. Thank you, Jack, for deliberately and brilliantly taking my mind off of everything else in my life on that dreadful Houston night and for paying me such a high compliment. I’d like to share it with all the other tired business owners out there who are feeling guilty right this moment for working instead of doing something for or with their children. You do deserve praise and you are setting a ‘life’ example for your children. Promise.
Have you put your Recipes From A Life review on Amazon yet? Please do!
http://amzn.to/jebXkC
My Momma tears were extra hot and salty as I drove away waving to him through the back window of my little green car. Same tears that fell a month ago when I said the same, “I love you more” to My Lia knowing I would not see her for almost four months.
My Lia and My Casey far away in other states while I am left behind to sweat out another dreafdul hot Austin, Texas summer. My children on their own. Me, on my own.
My friend Jack has accused me of being a hoover Momma. (Not Hoover like the vacuum cleaner; hoover like a helicopter.) This surprising revelation came on an evening when my hysteria resulting from a few overly stressful weeks was reaching a crescendo. I was in the middle of ridiculous travel, it was dark outside and I had just battled not only Houston tailgating traffic (massive diesel pickup trucks with brilliant bright spot lights speeding up turbo fast on my little green car’s tail) but too many long and drawn out cell phone conversations. Jack is such a gentleman though that he spit out this piece of information only after he had plied me with really great wine and ordered me a sublime dinner in a teeny little high-class one of a kind restaurant. My favorite kind of dining experience.
I immediately took a defensive posture. Silly me. Jack is a very brilliant man and I am very blessed to know him and his bride. They are those once in a lifetime special people and even though I have only known them a few short years, I have heard stories about them for almost two decades. They are the most generous people I will ever meet. I say this all with sincerity as blowing smoke isn’t my style.
In the windshield and beach walking time since Jack’s revelation about my parenting skills, I have come to realize that he was spot on. But not spot on as expected. Spot on as in the amount of possessiveness contained in my ‘My’ words, actions and writings. Yes, I am a hoover Momma but in a dramatically nontraditional whirling helicopter sense.
As a single Momma and business owner, my babies were forced to take care of themselves in ways no one hopes their children will ever have to take care of themselves when they are small. Nine plus mornings out of ten they got themselves up, dressed, fed and ready for school without me there. On these mornings we would see each other only in the car long enough for me to pick them up from the house and drop them off at their respective schools. More often than I care to remember, I couldn’t make it back home from work in the morning and they would have to find a way to school themselves either by calling a friend to have their parent drive them or by walking. I’ll admit now there were even a few days when they just stayed home and we called it a ‘mental health’ day because I just couldn’t play taxi.
My children learned at a very early age how to do their own laundry or sometimes it wouldn’t get done. They learned how to get their homework completed on their own. And while I was out feeding everyone else on the planet, they were getting themselves fed with whatever might be in the house and available to eat. They can boil water, bake chicken and grill their own cheese sandwiches. They can load a dishwasher, fold a bath towel and make their beds.
The three of us have had many conversations about how proud I am of their ‘life’ skills. They had no choice but to learn them. Are my children an exception? Absolutely not. There are gazillions of single parents and business owners out there whose children are raising themselves and have raised themselves. Is this a tough stretch? You bet. Might our children be better off for it? No doubt at all. Do you feel guilty? Yes, you do. Should you? No. Get over it. When your children get to college they will know how to manage their own homework, do their own laundry, get themselves and their roommates fed and get gas in their car without needing to ask how, why or how much. Your children will be much stronger and resilient to change and movement. They won’t be afraid to ask questions and seek answers from authority if needed. They will be grownup in ways some people can only hope their children could be grown up.
Am I a hoover Momma? Sure, I’ll take the title. I am a hoover Momma in that I enjoy and appreciate my children and the amazingly close connection we have. We don’t talk every day and during this long summer, I’ll be lucky to hear from them once a week. But when we do connect, we’ll want to know what is going on, where we are going, what needs to be planned, who we are each spending time with, how work is and what we can do to help each other to be as successful as possible. I don’t ask them what they ate, if their laundry is done, how they paid their bills and how they got from point A to point B. I will ask them if they are happy and I will tell them I love them madly and am proud of them and that I am the luckiest Momma in the world.
If this is hovering, I’m all over it. Thank you, Jack, for deliberately and brilliantly taking my mind off of everything else in my life on that dreadful Houston night and for paying me such a high compliment. I’d like to share it with all the other tired business owners out there who are feeling guilty right this moment for working instead of doing something for or with their children. You do deserve praise and you are setting a ‘life’ example for your children. Promise.
Have you put your Recipes From A Life review on Amazon yet? Please do!
http://amzn.to/jebXkC
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Dreaming about a Spicy Bloody Mary!
Last time I gave a lengthy speech it was to a massive room full of tired dietary managers. My concentration was on spices and how they could make a difference in the foods they were preparing and presenting. The whole interactive session had everything to do with empowering them in their kitchens with new ideas. While an energizing event, I can remember one very non-responsive woman sitting in the front row directly in front of me. Arms crossed, I couldn’t tell if she was completely absorbed in the differences between spices and herbs or if she had checked herself out somewhere. I pride myself on the interaction between myself and my audience so her cross armed demeanor was quite off putting.
Towards the end of my presentation we were happily on a tangent discussing less common spices and on a whim I asked the group when they might use Celery Salt. My totally nonresponsive woman in the front row actually threw her hand in the air, jumped to her feet and yelled out quite loudly, “Bloody Mary’s.” Seriously. She was the only person in the room who responded to this question in a room full of people who prior to now had been quite responsive and vocal. It was a spectacular moment and I remember just hugging her afterwards in gratitude. There was a connection! She had absorbed every word!
Just two nights ago I gave a very small speech to an amazing room of people attending the celebration for the national release of my book. I find it more difficult to talk to a room full of people you know than it is to talk to strangers and ask them to interact. This was a wildly special group of people and I wanted to give them everything I had besides making sure they left with some nugget from the evening. A light bulb moment from something I said, a connection with a new person, a reconnection. A spark. A seed. An idea.
While the event was to celebrate what I had done, I wanted the evening to have absolutely nothing to do with me. I wanted the evening to have everything to do with the power of dreaming. I had agonized over what I was going to wear, what I was going to say, the fact that my children weren’t there all for naught. (Though My Casey traveled straight from Colorado to surprise me!) What was most important was the fact that everyone was there in that room for a reason. They had traveled to this place in deathly hot summer evening traffic to celebrate me when all that really mattered was that they celebrate themselves.
I dreamt the book and I did it. Now I need to move onto the new dream. My hope in the afterglow of last Tuesday night is that someone in the room has since jumped up and raised their hand to the universe and told it what their dream is. That they made a connection and vocalized plans to follow up.
Do you have a dream for your business? Do you have a dream for your life? We are only here one time and the time for you to start dreaming is right now, this moment. Big dreaming, please.
Now I would really like a great Bloody Mary!
www.recipesfromalife.com
Towards the end of my presentation we were happily on a tangent discussing less common spices and on a whim I asked the group when they might use Celery Salt. My totally nonresponsive woman in the front row actually threw her hand in the air, jumped to her feet and yelled out quite loudly, “Bloody Mary’s.” Seriously. She was the only person in the room who responded to this question in a room full of people who prior to now had been quite responsive and vocal. It was a spectacular moment and I remember just hugging her afterwards in gratitude. There was a connection! She had absorbed every word!
Just two nights ago I gave a very small speech to an amazing room of people attending the celebration for the national release of my book. I find it more difficult to talk to a room full of people you know than it is to talk to strangers and ask them to interact. This was a wildly special group of people and I wanted to give them everything I had besides making sure they left with some nugget from the evening. A light bulb moment from something I said, a connection with a new person, a reconnection. A spark. A seed. An idea.
While the event was to celebrate what I had done, I wanted the evening to have absolutely nothing to do with me. I wanted the evening to have everything to do with the power of dreaming. I had agonized over what I was going to wear, what I was going to say, the fact that my children weren’t there all for naught. (Though My Casey traveled straight from Colorado to surprise me!) What was most important was the fact that everyone was there in that room for a reason. They had traveled to this place in deathly hot summer evening traffic to celebrate me when all that really mattered was that they celebrate themselves.
I dreamt the book and I did it. Now I need to move onto the new dream. My hope in the afterglow of last Tuesday night is that someone in the room has since jumped up and raised their hand to the universe and told it what their dream is. That they made a connection and vocalized plans to follow up.
Do you have a dream for your business? Do you have a dream for your life? We are only here one time and the time for you to start dreaming is right now, this moment. Big dreaming, please.
Now I would really like a great Bloody Mary!
www.recipesfromalife.com
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Advertising by the Seat of your Pants?
I am fascinated by amazing advertising campaigns. I picture a close-knit and happy advertising team sitting around a dramatic board room table surrounded by floor to ceiling windows. They are eating delicious gourmet snacks, brainstorming and feeding off of each other as they come up with ideas and slogans that will make enough impact last a lifetime. Some great ads we will remember without even remembering the product they were subliminally pushing. I love these ads.
Here I am in Texas in May where we have already sweated through more than one 100 plus degree day. Here I am in Texas already depressed by these 100 plus degree days hiding in my hotel room with the AC turned down to 65 and with the curtains tightly closed to the ridiculously bright sun. TV turned onto unnecessary and unwanted background noise. But then there is this commercial, again. A commercial with snow in it. A car commercial with snow it in and in one hour I believe I have seen it 5 times. Car Company showing a commercial excited about showing how their car handles in the snow and the awards it has won for great handling. In the snow.
How much money did this company pay to show this commercial in the southern states in May where it is already the dead of summer and over 100 plus degrees outside, in the freaking shade? Could they be any more clueless or wasteful? Hardly.
Are you doing any advertising besides word of mouth? If so, WHAT are you doing and have you clearly indentified WHO are you talking to? Are you talking in the language your customers are most comfortable using? Are you spending your advertising dollars on what your customers want and need to hear? Are you flying by the seat of your pants with your advertising budget or are you getting trusted professional advice? Can you account for your advertising dollars and are you tracking the result of their expense?
Please commit to being dialed into what your customers need to hear about your company and what it has to offer. Please commit to being effective with your advertising campaign. Please committ to NOT advertising by the seat of your pants.
The commercial just came on AGAIN! The Mitsubishi Highlander. It’s won five awards for the way it handles in the snow. Just saying… I’m turning the AC down, again.
Here I am in Texas in May where we have already sweated through more than one 100 plus degree day. Here I am in Texas already depressed by these 100 plus degree days hiding in my hotel room with the AC turned down to 65 and with the curtains tightly closed to the ridiculously bright sun. TV turned onto unnecessary and unwanted background noise. But then there is this commercial, again. A commercial with snow in it. A car commercial with snow it in and in one hour I believe I have seen it 5 times. Car Company showing a commercial excited about showing how their car handles in the snow and the awards it has won for great handling. In the snow.
How much money did this company pay to show this commercial in the southern states in May where it is already the dead of summer and over 100 plus degrees outside, in the freaking shade? Could they be any more clueless or wasteful? Hardly.
Are you doing any advertising besides word of mouth? If so, WHAT are you doing and have you clearly indentified WHO are you talking to? Are you talking in the language your customers are most comfortable using? Are you spending your advertising dollars on what your customers want and need to hear? Are you flying by the seat of your pants with your advertising budget or are you getting trusted professional advice? Can you account for your advertising dollars and are you tracking the result of their expense?
Please commit to being dialed into what your customers need to hear about your company and what it has to offer. Please commit to being effective with your advertising campaign. Please committ to NOT advertising by the seat of your pants.
The commercial just came on AGAIN! The Mitsubishi Highlander. It’s won five awards for the way it handles in the snow. Just saying… I’m turning the AC down, again.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Feeling Like a Winner!
What a relief it can be to lose! There is a liberating feeling to be able to say, ‘you win’ and ‘I give’. We are taught that the best highs come from winning. From coming out on top. From getting what you want or think you want. Believe me now when I tell you a high can come from saying, ‘you win and I am not playing this game anymore’.
I have been in a loose, loose situation. A situation that I knew I would never ‘win’. I didn’t want to ‘win’ nor did I want or ask for the fight. I wanted everyone to play nice and get along or even pretend to get along because, frankly, there was no grown up reason not to. I was mistaken. I wanted to be a grown up and move forward with mature boundaries. Unfortunately, I was the only one who felt this way.
I can remember feeling this way only once before. I had to fire a customer. Yes, you heard me right. I had to fire a a very demanding customer. One who felt they knew my job and the abilities of my company better than I. A customer who felt it was within their right to boss my employees around and make unreasonable demands. This customer pushed the envelope in directions that I was not willing to go for reasons that were sound. So, I fired them and took the negative energy my employees and I were sending in their direction and turned it into positive energy that went in new and very productive directions. It was a whole ‘close a door and open a window’ event and the result was stronger business and better customer relationships elsewhere.
Was this an easy decision? No, not at all. This customer paid on time and did great business with my company. They were a top 10 customer many months in a row. I lost a lot of sleep over the thought of losing their cash flow. But, they were draining me and my staff’s emotional energy in an unhealthy and unprofessional manner. So, I had to finally be responsible and fire them.
Just like now, I’ve been backed into a corner and as a result have reached firing mode. I’ve lost and in loosing I hope to feel like a winner. In loosing, I plan to move forward. When is the last time you were happy to loose and in doing so moved forward? When was the last time you closed a door and a window miraculously opened?
Visit: www.recipesfromalife.com
National Release Day Book Signing Celebration May 24th! RSVP at www.fineartaustin.com
I have been in a loose, loose situation. A situation that I knew I would never ‘win’. I didn’t want to ‘win’ nor did I want or ask for the fight. I wanted everyone to play nice and get along or even pretend to get along because, frankly, there was no grown up reason not to. I was mistaken. I wanted to be a grown up and move forward with mature boundaries. Unfortunately, I was the only one who felt this way.
I can remember feeling this way only once before. I had to fire a customer. Yes, you heard me right. I had to fire a a very demanding customer. One who felt they knew my job and the abilities of my company better than I. A customer who felt it was within their right to boss my employees around and make unreasonable demands. This customer pushed the envelope in directions that I was not willing to go for reasons that were sound. So, I fired them and took the negative energy my employees and I were sending in their direction and turned it into positive energy that went in new and very productive directions. It was a whole ‘close a door and open a window’ event and the result was stronger business and better customer relationships elsewhere.
Was this an easy decision? No, not at all. This customer paid on time and did great business with my company. They were a top 10 customer many months in a row. I lost a lot of sleep over the thought of losing their cash flow. But, they were draining me and my staff’s emotional energy in an unhealthy and unprofessional manner. So, I had to finally be responsible and fire them.
Just like now, I’ve been backed into a corner and as a result have reached firing mode. I’ve lost and in loosing I hope to feel like a winner. In loosing, I plan to move forward. When is the last time you were happy to loose and in doing so moved forward? When was the last time you closed a door and a window miraculously opened?
Visit: www.recipesfromalife.com
National Release Day Book Signing Celebration May 24th! RSVP at www.fineartaustin.com
Friday, April 22, 2011
Happiness is in the Butterflies
“Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you” -Nathaniel Hawthorne
I used to retreat to my little home on Navarre Island a few times each year because I knew I could get really quiet and recharge my batteries in the island silence. I know you hear that you have to get quiet and you know, deep inside that this is true. I have a friend who meditates every day for 30 minutes and she is the calmest and most centered person I know. She says meditating is like brushing her teeth. She just can’t leave the house in the morning without doing it. I want to be like her.
My time in Florida was so valuable because I knew that I needed to get quiet or I wouldn’t be able to take care of the life I had created. A life that I wanted to live, not one that I wanted to run from by wrapping myself in the business of the day to day.
One amazing Florida Thanksgiving holiday I took my beach blanket to the big cozy rocking chairs on my little deck so that I could watch the impending sunset. I missed the sunset. The butterflies took over. My Florida Momma Edna picked out my little island home for me and I purchased it sight unseen based on her recommendation. She chose it because right there off of the little deck was a baby palm tree. Probably just 4 feet tall the first time I saw it, this beautiful and strong little palm tree had a destiny. I used to talk to it when I sat outside contemplating the what is and what if’s and it grew like a maniac as a result. It lived through Hurricane Ivan and is still standing very strong and very tall today having acquired just a little lean for weathering the years.
Thanksgiving was a tough one that year and I planned on talking to my palm tree and the sunsets about life at length. But the butterflies were there instead. HUGE monarch butterflies on their Fall migration south were all over my deck, my chair, their palm tree and me. As big as the palm of my hand they would flutter and then land, hundreds and hundreds of them. Then in slow motion they would pulsate and rest. Rest quietly and deeply before they would flutter away with renewed strength.
I sat speechless and amazed for hours with the magnificent butterflies. As each one of them rejuvenated and repaired themselves before taking off on the next leg of their journey, I felt myself rejuvenating and repairing. I found I was breathing in the same pattern as their wings beat, slowly, methodically and deeply.
I left my island a new woman after that particular silent Thanksgiving trip with new Thanksgiving gratitude deep in my soul.
The universe tells you constantly that you must get quiet before you move on with existing. Sometimes it tells you subtly like in the drifting in and out of a butterfly that commands your attention. Sometimes it will tell you seriously with an accident or passing of a loved one. By now you must know that the universe will command your attention when you least want to give it. You also know that you must listen.
If you don’t get quiet you will not live the way you are meant to live. Your business will not survive and be a success the way you want it to survive and be successful if you don’t take time to get quiet. If you don’t find your butterflies, you will not live preciously the way you were intended to. I challenge you to find your butterflies and fulfill your spiritual destiny.
This post and more: www.recipesfromalife.tateauthor.com
I used to retreat to my little home on Navarre Island a few times each year because I knew I could get really quiet and recharge my batteries in the island silence. I know you hear that you have to get quiet and you know, deep inside that this is true. I have a friend who meditates every day for 30 minutes and she is the calmest and most centered person I know. She says meditating is like brushing her teeth. She just can’t leave the house in the morning without doing it. I want to be like her.
My time in Florida was so valuable because I knew that I needed to get quiet or I wouldn’t be able to take care of the life I had created. A life that I wanted to live, not one that I wanted to run from by wrapping myself in the business of the day to day.
One amazing Florida Thanksgiving holiday I took my beach blanket to the big cozy rocking chairs on my little deck so that I could watch the impending sunset. I missed the sunset. The butterflies took over. My Florida Momma Edna picked out my little island home for me and I purchased it sight unseen based on her recommendation. She chose it because right there off of the little deck was a baby palm tree. Probably just 4 feet tall the first time I saw it, this beautiful and strong little palm tree had a destiny. I used to talk to it when I sat outside contemplating the what is and what if’s and it grew like a maniac as a result. It lived through Hurricane Ivan and is still standing very strong and very tall today having acquired just a little lean for weathering the years.
Thanksgiving was a tough one that year and I planned on talking to my palm tree and the sunsets about life at length. But the butterflies were there instead. HUGE monarch butterflies on their Fall migration south were all over my deck, my chair, their palm tree and me. As big as the palm of my hand they would flutter and then land, hundreds and hundreds of them. Then in slow motion they would pulsate and rest. Rest quietly and deeply before they would flutter away with renewed strength.
I sat speechless and amazed for hours with the magnificent butterflies. As each one of them rejuvenated and repaired themselves before taking off on the next leg of their journey, I felt myself rejuvenating and repairing. I found I was breathing in the same pattern as their wings beat, slowly, methodically and deeply.
I left my island a new woman after that particular silent Thanksgiving trip with new Thanksgiving gratitude deep in my soul.
The universe tells you constantly that you must get quiet before you move on with existing. Sometimes it tells you subtly like in the drifting in and out of a butterfly that commands your attention. Sometimes it will tell you seriously with an accident or passing of a loved one. By now you must know that the universe will command your attention when you least want to give it. You also know that you must listen.
If you don’t get quiet you will not live the way you are meant to live. Your business will not survive and be a success the way you want it to survive and be successful if you don’t take time to get quiet. If you don’t find your butterflies, you will not live preciously the way you were intended to. I challenge you to find your butterflies and fulfill your spiritual destiny.
This post and more: www.recipesfromalife.tateauthor.com
Sunday, April 17, 2011
www.recipesfromalife.tateauthor.com
What a magnificent learning curve. From the binder under the bed to the contract with Tate Publishing to now, a national release date only weeks away. I’ve been asked many times what I plan to do with The Book and my answer has been very simple: If I can help one small business owner get a hold of what they are doing so that they can manage themselves to success and avoid devastating failure, I will be happy. I think I’ve been lying.
Honestly, I want to help a lot of people in many of places in amazing ways. I am energized when I bring someone to a light bulb moment and I want to be full of energy for success all the time, everywhere.
One person? Who am I kidding? Everyone deserves success and peace of mind! Everyone. Including you.
The web page is ready. Slowly I’ll be moving the posts from this blog. Doing a little rewriting and tweaking as I see the style is changing. My goal is fewer words and greater impact.
Feel free to comment and review. Interaction is a priority. This is all about you!
Many blessings for you and your success!
Bookmark it: www.recipesfromalife.tateauthor.com
Honestly, I want to help a lot of people in many of places in amazing ways. I am energized when I bring someone to a light bulb moment and I want to be full of energy for success all the time, everywhere.
One person? Who am I kidding? Everyone deserves success and peace of mind! Everyone. Including you.
The web page is ready. Slowly I’ll be moving the posts from this blog. Doing a little rewriting and tweaking as I see the style is changing. My goal is fewer words and greater impact.
Feel free to comment and review. Interaction is a priority. This is all about you!
Many blessings for you and your success!
Bookmark it: www.recipesfromalife.tateauthor.com
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Recklessness Strewn All About The Highway
In the left hand lane of four lanes of traffic I am on cruse, with the lid down on my little green convertible pegged at about 5 miles over the speed limit. I am minding my own business, singing at the top of my lungs when a motorcycle flies up to my right hand side. After a brief pause, the driver, sans helmet, turns on the gas and with a serious spike flies past and then in front of me and then is a dot miles down the pavement in an instant. I can’t get the video out of my mind of the girl on the back, in short shorts, sandals and a backpack, jolting backwards and then forwards with the change of velocity. Hanging on for dear life.
Reckless. And very young.
Then just a few hours later, still with the lid down and on my return trip. Quiet and not singing this time, I hear the hard fast buzz of motorcycles coming up behind me. Six of them. Weaving in and out of traffic at breakneck speed, passing in the shoulder on the left and the right leaving all of us late night drivers stunned. They left me out of breath with their speed.
When we are first starting out, we are reckless. Invincible. Like the teenage driver who thinks, ‘It can never happen to me.’ I’ll never get into an accident. I’ll never get caught. They will never know it was me. The recklessness of youth.
The recklessness of being a young business owner. I can do this better than anyone else has done it before. My way is going to be the right way. The previous owner didn’t know what they were doing. I know what is best. I don’t need to listen to you.
I remember when I sold my company, the new owner kept questioning some of the business decisions I had made. Why was I charging this particular amount and why was I doing this, this way. I was making conscience decisions based on lessons I had learned the hard way. I was making decisions for particular reasons. I was doing for my customers and my company what needed to be done after 18 years of learning. After so long, I was not reckless. My business was tenured and lessons had been learned the hard way.
The men who bought my business didn’t see things my way and thought they could run things better, their way. You already know the end of that story and sadly, it isn’t pretty.
On both sides of my travel last night, I expected to get a spell down the road and see flashing lights and to hear sirens. I expected to see motorcycles down on the ground and bodies that just weren’t going to make it. The recklessness of the young strewn all about the highway.
Don’t be reckless with your young business. Manage it. Baby it. Treat it and yourself with respect. Listen to your gut, study your competition, establish powerful business relationships. Read the book. (Yes, please, clink on the link above.)
In other words, wear your helmet and go the speed limit. I don’t want to see you surrounded by flashing lights on the side of the road.
Reckless. And very young.
Then just a few hours later, still with the lid down and on my return trip. Quiet and not singing this time, I hear the hard fast buzz of motorcycles coming up behind me. Six of them. Weaving in and out of traffic at breakneck speed, passing in the shoulder on the left and the right leaving all of us late night drivers stunned. They left me out of breath with their speed.
When we are first starting out, we are reckless. Invincible. Like the teenage driver who thinks, ‘It can never happen to me.’ I’ll never get into an accident. I’ll never get caught. They will never know it was me. The recklessness of youth.
The recklessness of being a young business owner. I can do this better than anyone else has done it before. My way is going to be the right way. The previous owner didn’t know what they were doing. I know what is best. I don’t need to listen to you.
I remember when I sold my company, the new owner kept questioning some of the business decisions I had made. Why was I charging this particular amount and why was I doing this, this way. I was making conscience decisions based on lessons I had learned the hard way. I was making decisions for particular reasons. I was doing for my customers and my company what needed to be done after 18 years of learning. After so long, I was not reckless. My business was tenured and lessons had been learned the hard way.
The men who bought my business didn’t see things my way and thought they could run things better, their way. You already know the end of that story and sadly, it isn’t pretty.
On both sides of my travel last night, I expected to get a spell down the road and see flashing lights and to hear sirens. I expected to see motorcycles down on the ground and bodies that just weren’t going to make it. The recklessness of the young strewn all about the highway.
Don’t be reckless with your young business. Manage it. Baby it. Treat it and yourself with respect. Listen to your gut, study your competition, establish powerful business relationships. Read the book. (Yes, please, clink on the link above.)
In other words, wear your helmet and go the speed limit. I don’t want to see you surrounded by flashing lights on the side of the road.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I Want You to Feel Really, Really Good
I feel good. I mean I feel really good. Better than I’ve felt in a long time. I’ve made some big decisions lately and have made some gigantic and scary changes as a result. Today, I feel good. I am over the hump. I’m settling in.
Too often when we are in business for ourselves we have to make reactive instead of proactive decisions. We react on the spot to things that affect our day to day business. A key employee out sick or with an emergency causes you to make reactionary changes to your plans. An important customer has last minute demands that cause you to again make reactionary changes to possibly not only your personal or professional plans but to your employee plans and more seriously to your bank account plans. You write reactionary checks, have reactionary conversations that you might not have been ready for and you make reactionary decisions that in hindsight were not the best for your business’ long term health.
I am big on the 24 hour rule especially when I shop. There have been many times My Lia and I were shopping and saw something that we just had to have. Instant retail therapy gratification. Nine and a half times out of ten when we apply the 24 hour, the ‘if we still want it we can come back and get it tomorrow rule’, we don’t go back and get whatever the item was. We even have forgotten what we found so awesome about the item the very next day. We have saved countless dollars with the 24 hour rule. (Just look in your closet and I dare you to tell me there isn’t anything hanging in there that you should have applied the 24 hour rule to.)
What if we all applied the 24 hour rule to our business practices? Instead of blowing up at the employee, we waited 24 hours so we could address the issue without emotion. Instead of jumping on an opportunity to make a business change that at first glance looks appetizing, what if you waited just 24 hours and really thought through the pros and cons. What if you gave yourself the gift of a day to look before you jumped at a chance that seems, of course, too good to be true? Any great opportunity that is meant to be will be happy to hear you say, “May I please have 24 hours think this through and I’ll get back to you by ‘x’ time tomorrow?”
I gave myself 24 hours times a month or two and three before I made my recent large decisions and I am proud of myself for giving my decisions the time to percolate. I challenge you to give your decisions the time to assimilate and fester if need be before you respond and react. Allow yourself, as the entrepreneur, the responsible opportunity to make proactive instead of reactive decisions. You will be amazed at the positive change you will make to the process of running your business.
I want you to feel good. Really, really good.
Too often when we are in business for ourselves we have to make reactive instead of proactive decisions. We react on the spot to things that affect our day to day business. A key employee out sick or with an emergency causes you to make reactionary changes to your plans. An important customer has last minute demands that cause you to again make reactionary changes to possibly not only your personal or professional plans but to your employee plans and more seriously to your bank account plans. You write reactionary checks, have reactionary conversations that you might not have been ready for and you make reactionary decisions that in hindsight were not the best for your business’ long term health.
I am big on the 24 hour rule especially when I shop. There have been many times My Lia and I were shopping and saw something that we just had to have. Instant retail therapy gratification. Nine and a half times out of ten when we apply the 24 hour, the ‘if we still want it we can come back and get it tomorrow rule’, we don’t go back and get whatever the item was. We even have forgotten what we found so awesome about the item the very next day. We have saved countless dollars with the 24 hour rule. (Just look in your closet and I dare you to tell me there isn’t anything hanging in there that you should have applied the 24 hour rule to.)
What if we all applied the 24 hour rule to our business practices? Instead of blowing up at the employee, we waited 24 hours so we could address the issue without emotion. Instead of jumping on an opportunity to make a business change that at first glance looks appetizing, what if you waited just 24 hours and really thought through the pros and cons. What if you gave yourself the gift of a day to look before you jumped at a chance that seems, of course, too good to be true? Any great opportunity that is meant to be will be happy to hear you say, “May I please have 24 hours think this through and I’ll get back to you by ‘x’ time tomorrow?”
I gave myself 24 hours times a month or two and three before I made my recent large decisions and I am proud of myself for giving my decisions the time to percolate. I challenge you to give your decisions the time to assimilate and fester if need be before you respond and react. Allow yourself, as the entrepreneur, the responsible opportunity to make proactive instead of reactive decisions. You will be amazed at the positive change you will make to the process of running your business.
I want you to feel good. Really, really good.
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